[ At least Daniel does stay quiet now it's Robby's time to speak. He isn't even holding on to the phone anymore, not in the position ready to text again - instead having put the device down on his lap with the photo, turning his attention fully towards the boy, two gazes crossing each other.
Even though it's hard. It was hard enough when Robby's gaze was hostile, when he shoved a wall between them that Daniel just couldn't climb over. This is hard too, but in a different way, a way that makes Daniel's chest ache. Robby is far too young to already have to speak like this, talk about being tired, about it hurting.
But this is about what Robby wants. So after the other is done talking, Daniel nods - after a tiny pause, and slowly, but he nods. If Robby wants to let it go, then.. Daniel will try to do the same thing, even though what Terry Silver has done to him makes it feel harder to let go of anything, makes it feel like everything is forever trapped right inside of his ribcage, stuck there alongside his heart.
But if this is what Robby wants, then he will try. Then he will nod.
The nod is followed up with Daniel patting the spot on the bed besides him, like he's asking Robby to sit back down again, if not for a moment.
And when the boy does, Daniel looks down at the photo again, moving it a little so it's more between him and Robby, in a spot where they can both see it. Even if Daniel is quiet for another moment, unsure of where to start, how to address Robby's feelings on top of it - something about the picture compels him to speak about it-- picking up Robby's phone again to talk. ]
I thought of you a lot. [ Like he said, he missed Robby. Like Robby just said-- he missed Daniel too. ] I had this photo ready, but then everything happened, and it didn't feel like I had the right to put it up anymore. I still looked at it from time to time.
[ Until it hurt too much. But that's not what Daniel wants to say here after what Robby he said, not what he wants to touch on for the boy. ]
I packed it up, hoping that I would be able to put it up one day. Or give it to you.
[ Hence the state Robby had found the object in in the first place. ]
Because this day was so important to me. [ He stops typing for a moment, instead tapping at the glass of the frame with one hand, staring at the two smiling faces for a moment. It makes something soften in his gaze. ] I was carrying so much before that moment too. Before we went to mister Miyagi's house and turned it into the dojo, I hadn't been there in years. I know I said back then that I hadn't had the chance to go back there, but it was more just that I couldn't go there. Facing it all after mister Miyagi's death felt too hard. Even just thinking about it hurt, so I acted like I left it all behind me. I stopped teaching Sam karate. I didn't go to mister Miyagi's place anymore, not even to see the cars. I completely banned something that had been such a big part of me out of my life.
[ Daniel stops typing for a moment. He wonders if it'd be easier to just have said all of this if he could've-- but he figures that would've been just as hard as hearing those words being read out loud to him and Robby. Maybe just in different ways.
He swallows, continues, pushed on by the urge that's lingered ever since first laying eyes on the photo, since laying eyes on Robby. Wanting to make sure the boy knows-- ]
What changed all of that was you, Robby. Actually doing karate again, going back to mister Miyagi's place, cleaning up the place the way I had done with him all those years ago..
I could only leave all the grief and pain behind and face all of it because of you. Because I knew that there was someone who needed me.
[ -- that he knows how important he is. In general, but-- also to Daniel.
He types one more sentence, glancing sideways at Robby when it's read out. ]
And that I needed that someone as well.
[ The way one boy can walk into your life and suddenly give it back all of its colour.
no subject
Even though it's hard. It was hard enough when Robby's gaze was hostile, when he shoved a wall between them that Daniel just couldn't climb over. This is hard too, but in a different way, a way that makes Daniel's chest ache. Robby is far too young to already have to speak like this, talk about being tired, about it hurting.
But this is about what Robby wants. So after the other is done talking, Daniel nods - after a tiny pause, and slowly, but he nods. If Robby wants to let it go, then.. Daniel will try to do the same thing, even though what Terry Silver has done to him makes it feel harder to let go of anything, makes it feel like everything is forever trapped right inside of his ribcage, stuck there alongside his heart.
But if this is what Robby wants, then he will try. Then he will nod.
The nod is followed up with Daniel patting the spot on the bed besides him, like he's asking Robby to sit back down again, if not for a moment.
And when the boy does, Daniel looks down at the photo again, moving it a little so it's more between him and Robby, in a spot where they can both see it. Even if Daniel is quiet for another moment, unsure of where to start, how to address Robby's feelings on top of it - something about the picture compels him to speak about it-- picking up Robby's phone again to talk. ]
I thought of you a lot. [ Like he said, he missed Robby. Like Robby just said-- he missed Daniel too. ] I had this photo ready, but then everything happened, and it didn't feel like I had the right to put it up anymore. I still looked at it from time to time.
[ Until it hurt too much. But that's not what Daniel wants to say here after what Robby he said, not what he wants to touch on for the boy. ]
I packed it up, hoping that I would be able to put it up one day. Or give it to you.
[ Hence the state Robby had found the object in in the first place. ]
Because this day was so important to me. [ He stops typing for a moment, instead tapping at the glass of the frame with one hand, staring at the two smiling faces for a moment. It makes something soften in his gaze. ] I was carrying so much before that moment too. Before we went to mister Miyagi's house and turned it into the dojo, I hadn't been there in years. I know I said back then that I hadn't had the chance to go back there, but it was more just that I couldn't go there. Facing it all after mister Miyagi's death felt too hard. Even just thinking about it hurt, so I acted like I left it all behind me. I stopped teaching Sam karate. I didn't go to mister Miyagi's place anymore, not even to see the cars. I completely banned something that had been such a big part of me out of my life.
[ Daniel stops typing for a moment. He wonders if it'd be easier to just have said all of this if he could've-- but he figures that would've been just as hard as hearing those words being read out loud to him and Robby. Maybe just in different ways.
He swallows, continues, pushed on by the urge that's lingered ever since first laying eyes on the photo, since laying eyes on Robby. Wanting to make sure the boy knows-- ]
What changed all of that was you, Robby. Actually doing karate again, going back to mister Miyagi's place, cleaning up the place the way I had done with him all those years ago..
I could only leave all the grief and pain behind and face all of it because of you. Because I knew that there was someone who needed me.
[ -- that he knows how important he is. In general, but-- also to Daniel.
He types one more sentence, glancing sideways at Robby when it's read out. ]
And that I needed that someone as well.
[ The way one boy can walk into your life and suddenly give it back all of its colour.
Had it been like that for mister Miyagi too? ]