Robby "major sensei issues" Keene (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
strongroots) wrote2023-07-11 09:59 pm
strongroots) wrote2023-07-11 09:59 pm
[meme, psls, etc]
out of game psls, threads, etc.
out of game psls, threads, etc.
out of game psls, threads, etc.
out of game psls, threads, etc.
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It's like the creature knows it too, most likely through its connection to Daniel's soul, to his heart. He often knows Daniel's feelings a moment before they roll in, leaving the Omen in its relatively small form, just curling up on the table, knowing that his job here is - for now - done.
And he's right about it. Because even though there's just a moment of quiet where Daniel stares at Robby, it doesn't take too long before the look is instead replaced by a smile on his face.
"Alright." Daniel may be protective - a little overprotective - but he knows that having faith in your kids is also part of the package. If Robby thinks he can make it to his room and then over to the dojo, then he probably can.
Hence why the man is already stepping away in the direction of the inner dojo, only turning his head to smile at Robby and add: "I'll be waiting there. Take your time."
Before Robby starts rushing himself in his excitement and suddenly forgets feet work again, okay. You'll have a worried dad on your hands if there's suddenly the sound of someone collapsing!
But - assuming there isn't - Daniel will indeed be waiting in the dojo, already sitting down. It seems like his Omen didn't follow him there either, leaving the space just to the two of them.
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It sticks with Robby even now, but it's being crowded out by the anticipation that thrums through his being. A smile bright on his lips as his dad (his dad, his dad) tells him to be careful, but trusts him enough to go on ahead, to take this next step with him. Even after everything confessed that should've put him off--
Robby doesn't rush immediately, but stands where he is to soak in this feeling; to not drown by it, and keep himself together in a manner different from corruption.
--Alright.
He heads to his room to pick up the bowl, sitting waiting for him under his bed. It's in easy reach (he's been looking at it, after all), and the items inside clunk some as he gets off his knees and heads down the hall to the indoor dojo--with a smile, Daniel will find, that hasn't left Robby's face when he makes his entrance. Stopping by the doorway for a brief second, and then closing it behind him. He walks with the gear tucked under one arm, dropping himself into a spot opposite to his dad, and the placing the bowl down afterwards.
Inside is a pestle, a plastic bag with the ashes and the dried flower petals. They'll need to add a piece of themselves to it, of course.
But first, Robby takes out the pieces--with shy looks over to his dad, that only makes the dimples on his face deeper.
"Do you know what to do?"
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Not that Daniel wouldn't have taken the bond either way, not when he brought it up so long ago, when he would have been fine with sharing a bond back then anyway - but there's a special joy and relief in knowing that all of this makes Robby so happy, especially after what the boy has been through. After getting that heavy confession off his chest only a few moments ago.
Daniel finds himself instinctively smiling right back at him, unable to do anything else in the face of that smile.
"I don't exactly have personal experience," he answers to the question.
(Which is technically true, because even if he did have that bond with Terry Silver - a fact he isn't exactly eager to bring up now after hiding it all this time, not wanting that man to shadow over this moment as he had earlier - it's not like Daniel was involved in its preparation. He wasn't even super involved in its execution.)
His smile tugs a little further on his lips as he adds: "But I'm willing to follow your lead."
There's almost a playful quality of the words, eager to match Robby's own giddiness, trying to keep the boy's enthusiasm going.
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He would feel more fancy, if the whole affair wasn't so strangely straight-forward for an otherwise life-altering event (if only it was more complicated for Daniel, and when it came to Terry Silver....). They already had a bowl doused in moonlight, a flower of the patron pthumerian that watches over the bonds, the ash of deer bones, and the water to turn it into the consistency they need it to be.
"We can use hair." Robby gets a few crushes of the petals in before he suggests it, then pauses; rolls his lips together, then hands over the silver bowl for Mister LaRusso to take his turn. "...There's also blood, but, uh--we don't have to."
Because there's the part of Robby that hasn't forgotten what he did to his father under the corruption's influence, and there's also the parts of them that he still recognises as outsiders to the ways of this world--who find bleeding willingly pretty fucking weird.
...but maybe they've crossed over that line. And there's a reason Robby brings it up at all, that using blood makes for a better connection, but--it's not necessary to explain.
(He's forced his dad to bleed enough.)
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It means he's looking down at the thing he's working on, rather than Robby. It makes his eyes hard to see, hard to gauge how Daniel might feel about hearing it. Even though it's very obvious to both of them why the boy is adding in the part about them not having to do so. They both remember.
But as the man sucks in a breath and looks up from where he was trying to mix up the ashes with the crushed petals, he doesn't seem bothered at all. Despite the memory not being a great one for either of them, for obvious reasons.. Despite that, Daniel smiles.
"No, let's use blood."
It helps that it's not like that time was the only time Daniel has ever bled here, even though it was obviously never as much as that time. But making enough stones to fit one in the bracelets for all the students here, including Robby's own - that wasn't just a little bit of blood either, even if Daniel had it drawn from him much more over time.
It makes this feel normal - as normal as anything can be in an odd world as this, as the customs they've had to get used to just to survive.
This has nothing to do with survival, sure, but it feels just as important as it. To forge their bond, yes, but to also show Robby that Daniel doesn't mind. That he holds nothing against the boy.
Forgiving your children is the most natural thing in the world.
"How much of it?" He holds the bowl back out towards Robby. "If it's just a few drops, I can grab the bonsai clippers."
Mostly since they're right there, in case they need something for a quick stab.. No need to get fancy about it if they'd only need a little bit, after all. And while Daniel doesn't hold anything against Robby over their shared memory, he worries that maybe the boy will be reminded a little bit too much of guilt if he has to handle that blood draining kit again.
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It's not alone why Robby starts to rub at his fingers, sliding them around his wrist and switching the process over to his other forearm; it's a reminder, a tick, of the feeling of his being held together, a way to help it stay that way. A habit from his corruption and recovery.
And psychological, maybe, but he does stop when his dad speaks up. Looks over to him, his hand clasped around his arm; his own expression is uncertain, even in the face of the smile looking back at him, the ease of the tone used.
How much of it? There's a certain amount needed, he thinks, to make the liquid (is there a problem with coldbloods doing this? Robby doesn't remember anything, but--), but he could give plenty, couldn't he? He should bleed for this. His mouth opens a little too early as he still thinks about what to say, a small breath that feigns a lighter mood as his gaze flicks away, and then back onto his dad.
"We can use the clippers. As much as you want." He smiles back, lips falling in that way. The remark easy, careless; nothing weighty to it, though his mind is buzzing at the thought: wouldn't this make things right? Shouldn't he let Mister LaRusso do to him what he did first?
Even though he can hear a voice inside him, static and distorted. A single No from his omen that doesn't speak outward.
(But wouldn't it be right?)
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Not in his original position though. Instead he sits down right next to Robby. Opting not to kneel, but to instead cross his legs across each other as he holds the clippers in one hand, not making any movement to poke himself with them yet.
This isn't about Daniel holding back because he's worried about it, though. Even with the sharp object in hand, he doesn't really feel worse about the idea of bleeding a little to establish this bond. And it's not like Robby is fully showing anything that shows reluctance about the idea on his part - not with how easily the boy speaks, not with the smile still playing around his lips.
Maybe it's just Daniel being fussy. Hell, Daniel himself wouldn't be surprised if this was just him being fussy - it often is. But with how close it still is to Robby's recovery period, with the boy practically only just being fully human again, maybe he's allowed to be a little bit extra fussy. To pay extra close attention to Robby's potential needs.
Especially when not paying enough attention to Robby's feelings is part of what failed between them in the first place.
"You sure, bud?" Maybe that's why Daniel keeps his tone a little light as he says it, but there's a dip around the edges into something a little more serious, more caring. But it's filled with the usual warmth in his tone, a contrast to the way his cool skin might feel to Robby right now, elbows practically touching. "If you're fine with it, we can go right ahead. But as your dad, I want to check in first, since I'm supposed to not make you stuff you don't want to do, you know?"
A small pause, and then he smiles, gently poking the boy with his elbow for real this time as he adds: "Except for chores, anyway."
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...but can't events change people? Isn't there sometimes where, maybe...
His new father is sweet beside him, talking to him like he's missed (before his recovery--he's been getting a lot of this since after his corruption), but he's being distracted: from himself, and the omen stirring within him. A series of thoughts--he could take the clippers after him, dig in deep; why not? it won't come close to the same amount, shouldn't he offer it?--that Robby only responds once he nudges. A small breathy chuckle, a smile squeezed, and his hands fiddle with his arms until he sets them down on his lap.
"I'm fine with it," he finally answers; mouth still open to continue, but the words he wants to say--they won't come out. He moves a hand over the back of a wrist. He breathes in. He breathes out.
"...you know, if there's a part of you that wants to get back at me," he says quietly, less confident than he felt just a moment ago, "--I wouldn't think less of you. You're a good person to me. I-- I wanted you to know that."
I want to give you the choice. Because isn't that the compromise he can come down to with his omen? That this place can change a person, and he doesn't want to make Mister LaRusso turn back on this idea by even making the suggestion, but shouldn't he be willing to offer it?
"I did a lot to you."
Even if he's willing to be his father now, still--
What if that part exists in Mister LaRusso who would take it? Just like there's some part of him that exists inside himself to do it first.
They don't even have to speak about it.
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.. somehow a third answer appears, though. A third answer that leans a little bit more towards the latter option from before, sure, but it's still different enough. Because while Robby admitting to difficulty by itself wouldn't have made Daniel pause in surprise, this does.
It makes him put down the clippers on the ground in front of him, not wanting to hold them as he speaks. Not because he doesn't trust either himself or Robby with them, but because he doesn't want them to be part of this conversation, not with the turn it just took.
"Robby.. What?"
Daniel's voice is soft, but still obviously surprised, even an edge of outright confusion to the words.
His hand on the furthest side away from Robby reaches out, Daniel's upper body turning until he can reach far enough for the cold hand to land on Robby's cheek - the touch gentle, but still with enough strength in it that he can get Robby's head to turn, forcing the boy's gaze towards him. Because Daniel wants to look at it right now and see what he finds there. Because he wants Robby to look at his own gaze, and to see that there isn't even a single bit of that kind of intent in Daniel.
"Why would you think that..?" There's no accusation in his tone.
Just worry. Because there's no way Robby would say that if there wasn't a mountain of emotions and bad memories hidden underneath those words.
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Doesn't even the man who wants to be his father deserve the opportunity to find some release?
"...I..." Robby struggles to get his words out, to say it, repeat what he's already basically said. He's looking away even with his head turned towards Mister LaRusso, shame creeping up his skin.
"I would understand," is all he can say; quieter than even before, his green eyes meeting with his dad's brown, even if their hold can't last. "I did it to you first."
Because it's all he can say to explain himself, though he leaves it implied what of his past actions he means (but with the clippers there, the subject of blood already brought up--it's not a hard guess to mate).
But his confidence has wavered, and he's worried about what Mister LaRusso might think. If he'll want to take this bonding idea back, or be disappointed that Robby would even think such a thing; that he could think so poorly of the man he wants to take on as his father, when it isn't like that at all.
(Or is he worried that the problem is really him: that something's happened to him to come up with an idea that would shock Mister LaRusso like this, and this is bad, that this isn't like him at all?
He doesn't know.
He doesn't want to be broken.)
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.. it seems like it's a little bit harder for Robby still, huh? Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise. It must have been even harder for Robby when he was the one going through all of it, when he's only barely managed to reform himself again from what this world had reduced him to.
Still, even if it's slightly logical within the rules of this twisted world, it's still worrisome to a father. Who wants to see their kid hurting like this, or thinking like this? Thinking that their own father would want to hurt them, just to get back at them.
The only thing he can do is reach out, wrap an arm around Robby, pulling the boy closer to him. Holding him close, like Daniel would want to do nothing more than to gather the boy into his arms, to protect his son from a world that's too cruel for his heart.
"Never," Daniel says, his voice shaking faintly as he gets out the word, just from the sheer intensity of his conviction about that answer.
Or maybe just because the idea of it feels so disgusting, so terrifying. Him hurting Robby, when all he wants to do is protect the boy. It's not an idea he wants to let live in his son's mind even for a moment. It's not something Robby should have to be thinking about, nothing he should have to consider.
"As long as I have anything to say about it, I'm never going to hurt you. Alright? Never."
Daniel pauses a moment, letting out a breath that felt deeper than expected, like he was holding more breath than he consciously realised he was holding.
".. forget everything that happened," he says, a little more quiet this time. "I'm not hurt. I'm not mad."
He never was mad. Not at Robby. And.. okay, yes, Daniel was hurt, but it's easy to forget all about that when the entire problem is solved, when he didn't lose Robby forever like he feared so much. How is he supposed to still be hurting when he can hold this boy in his arms, knowing that it is his son he's holding?
"All I wanted was for you to be okay."
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How he made Mister LaRusso bleed. And bleed, and bleed, and bleed for him until nearly--
(How the thought of him nearly dying brought on some kind of peace in him, until--suddenly, without reason, just like all his reasoning then--it didn't.)
Robby doesn't resist the one-armed embrace. He breathes, like Mister LaRusso always told him to, to bring him back into focus; when his skin otherwise burns, and he worries, fears about what he's brought between them. But he knows he shouldn't panic, or worry; he can't withdraw, he said he wouldn't do that again.
He can't fear this.
"Okay." He doesn't speak up until after Mister LaRusso's finished; until he's done telling himself that this is alright--that there's been no mention of taking back their bonding, that the man who's to be his dad isn't mad (wasn't, and isn't, now). His eyes flutter close for a moment as he tells himself--this is okay.
"I'm sorry for bringing it up." For suggesting it, for thinking it was alright; he should listen to Luck more, maybe.
"I won't do anything stupid when we do the bond." ...because if there's a worry in his future (present?) dad about that now, he should reassure him before he suggests they don't use blood--when Robby would rather they do, and have the closer connection for it.
They can't shy away now.
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"Don't apologize," he says, though it's nothing stern or intense. It's gentle, reassuring. "You didn't do anything wrong."
Not right now, he means, but-- hell, not in general either. Daniel doesn't blame Robby for a single thing, not when people have talked often enough how hard corruption is to fight once it sets in. Sure, it might use feelings you already have, but it twists them so far that you're hardly yourself anymore. Daniel could know, because Robby isn't what he was during his corruption. He's not someone who just wants to hurt others.
"I just want you to know that everything is alright." Daniel pauses, followed by a slight 'hm?' sound, moving his head like he's trying to catch the boy's gaze, if not just so he can show him that Daniel is smiling. That he isn't mad, or even worried.
Robby is just still recovering, even if he's at its tail end now. But that just means Daniel has to keep being there for him.
"You know I love you, right?"
There's not even a strangeness to saying that, despite their conversation that lead to all of this. Daniel is aware they both know what kind of love he means. That he loves Robby like a kid-- that he loves him just like he loves Sam and Anthony, that he wants to do this to show Robby that he's truly his son.
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But it is temporary, since they do still have a bond to get through--as long as Mister LaRusso doesn't change his mind, doesn't back off. He isn't so far, and for the searching look that catches Robby from the corner of his sight, he does look up at him; a heart twisted in its own knot, only becoming all the more evident with those last words given.
You know I love you, right?
Robby knows the meaning of it--and even that meaning is so much. Some parts of him continuing to wonder if this isn't a game, a play pretend for a man missing his kids. But at the same time, the thought is small; it can't rise above the larger parts of Robby that desperately wants it, and to believe in it too.
He gives a lop-sided smile, soft as it is, mumbling through it: "I love you too."
This is what he wanted, wasn't it? Them.
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So he gives the boy a smile at that near-shy mumble, and then he's already picking up the clippers again.
"Let's get this done, alright?"
Daniel was kind of planning on pricking his finger with the clippers, but.. he'll probably need a little bit more blood than that, he thinks. Squeezing that much blood out of his finger is going to be a pain, so instead Daniel rolls up his sleeve until just before his elbow, so he can instead use the small scissors to draw a cut on his upper arm. Nothing too deep, but enough to make it bleed, even if the blood crystallises so quickly outside of his body, shimmering as the crystals drop into the paste.
He gives Robby a tiny - almost apologetic - smile.
"I think you're going to have to crush it up."
Sorry, son, that his blood is even weirder than yours.. But at least it does mean that once Daniel feels like there's enough of his blood in the mixture, it's easy to turn his arm back over and feel the blood still on top of it crystallise as well - practically freezing up the wound to let it heal underneath the crystal formation lingering on his skin.
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Robby brings the bowl then in front of himself, holds out his hand to take the clippers next. Probably a little...icy, and if Daniel doesn't, Robby will take the sleeve of his overshirt to wipe them off (...the concern should be the blood, but it still counts if the blood is ice, too, right). The blade is no less cold against his skin once he rolls up the sleeve proper, exposing the area just above his wrist to dig in and puncture a hole, hovering his arm just above the mixture. More blood comes out, easier than for Mister LaRusso, with the smell of tar drifting up as the rusted-gold blood drips down. Robby feels the sting, but ignores it until he's sure that there's enough for the mix, before dropping the clippers and putting his hand over the small wound.
Briefly, for a few seconds, before he picks up the mortar and starts to crush, and mixing everything into--and there's a shimmering to the contents as they start to come together, becoming more sludge-like.
...but a little better smelling than actual sludge, fortunately.
"I got the familial bond with Mob," he admits--awkwardly, but only some. "It was, uh, because of his powers, in case he ever changed into a beast. You tell what the other's feeling. The friend bond doesn't do that."
He's not sure if Mister LaRusso knows the differences, talks as they come closer to the decision of what to do. The nerves starting to creep in, apprehension for what's about to occur.
But it feels silly, the position he's put himself in; but Robby goes along with it anyway, a small huff of a chuckle before he asks, "--You want the familial one?"
...yes, by the look on his face--and considering their entire conversation today--he knows how dorky and dumb this question is. Future dad.
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But when there's even a slight pause in the mixing, the man will reach out towards Robby, a hand gently grabbing a hold of the arm where the boy punctured his skin earlier.
He knows it's just a small wound. It's not even really bleeding, but.. well, would Daniel truly be Daniel if he didn't fuss over the little things, even when there's no need to?
It means that his other hand gently comes to rest on top of the slight wound, remaining there for a moment, and leaving a thin layer of ice that sits over the wound when Daniel lifts his hand again, listening to Robby speak all the while.
"Of course I do," he says, making sure to keep his voice gentle - if not just because he doesn't want to give Robby the impression that he's making fun of the boy for asking such an obvious question.
There's no way Daniel is going back on this one now, after all. Robby is his son, so a familial bond only makes sense.
"I.." He pauses.
There's a moment of thought here - and a decision made. His smile a little more awkward as he adds: "I really don't like the platonic friendship bonds, anyway."
There's an implication in those words, though without context, it's impossible for the boy to guess the exact meaning behind them. But that's exactly why Daniel said them this way. It means that if Robby wants to know, he can ask, and this time Daniel will actually tell him, rather than keeping it all to himself. (Openness - he remembers how much Robby values it, how much things behind hid from him bothered him, though this certainly isn't anywhere on the scale of Johnny only later telling Robby about his death.)
And if he doesn't want to know, they can skip over it. It's not like Daniel is going to mind not talking about one of his most actively traumatizing moments in Trench, after all. Putting the choice in Robby's hands is his way of showing active trust and faith in his son.
"But a familial bond with you sounds perfect."
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A momentary interruption, and Robby's lips tug in acknowledgement for what's left behind, but doesn't remark on it. Returning to the work and his questions, and then waiting on the man's answer. Obvious, and yet--Robby doesn't mean the awkward addition. The comment on something that seems meaningless, with the way that his future (current? present? --you know what he means) dad goes on about the familial bond.
He might move on from it, not paying attention. But with the mixture coming together, and with his own memory not up to stuff, he does ask, "--What does the friendship bond do again? I remember the hostile bond..."
Mainly because he spoke to Ruby about that one, but the platonic effects is lost on him, beyond that it doesn't offer the stronger corruption help. Which is why he and Mob hadn't gone for it.
And the hostile one was always off the table.
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He doesn't like talking about even just this. Even that description is already so soaked with the man who forced it on him - probably fully knowing what he was doing by choosing that specific bond, when a hostile one would have been far easier for Daniel to endure.
But he knows he could just leave it there. Robby's lack of knowledge of the situation makes it easy to back off here, to just cover it up as Daniel not wanting to accidentally cause Robby pain. It wouldn't even take effort to not say it.
.. but he has to, he thinks.
This is his chance to be open with a boy he sees as a son. If he backs out now, it'd practically be the same as lying to Robby. So..
"But, Robby, there's-- there's something I need to tell you. I.. had one of those for a while." Daniel speaks so slowly. It's like every single word leaving the man's throat is like torture, judging by how hard it seems for him to say all of them.
But he pushes himself further, going on, even though his very expression is pained at this point.
"But not because I wanted to."
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And when he does, builds up to a further explanation without reaching the ending point, Robby knows. 'I had one of those for a while'; But not because I wanted to.'
Because of what they sat and already spoke about, what Mister LaRusso shared out on the docks about what he went through at his age. Everything always coming back to that man. The one who had come and then slithered off back into the ocean. And yet--
"...Silver," Robby deduces, his throat dry when he says the word. The name. The culprit.
--And yet he never leaves Mister LaRusso. He's always there.
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Just that fact alone should tell Robby he's right. Daniel would've denied it if it had been anyone or anything else, after all - but the man doesn't. He just remains quiet for a few moments, not directly looking at Robby either.
Then he moves. Still not talking, but his fingers move to pry at the upper most buttons of his shirt, opening them, giving his shirt just enough leeway for Daniel to be able to pull his collar off to the side enough to give Robby a glimpse at something. Right around Daniel's shoulder area, there's a contrast in colours on the tan skin. There's a spot that's a sickly green - like Vileblood - though it seems to have faded a little bit.
But even without the full mark visible, it's so clear what it is. A big palm resting on Daniel's shoulder, long fingers splayed out across his skin. A large handprint.
He releases his hold on the collar, mostly obscuring the mark again.
"He lured me somewhere. And then he--"
Sprung this on him, took his blood, held him down, marked him, all things Daniel can't say, couldn't say even if he tried, even now he's telling the truth.
"--did this."
(Safer.)
He breathes out, glancing back up at Robby, meeting the other's gaze with a mix of shame and guilt as his hands try to clumsily button his shirt back up.
".. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, Robby. It happened while you were off to that other city, and I just.." - ashamed, blaming himself, disgusted with his own body and the way it no longer felt like just his own - ".. I couldn't."
He couldn't talk about it. Not with anyone. This is the first time he's even giving this entire thing some words, rather than letting it stew inside of his own mind.
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There's been the desire; or more a need, a want to lash out and hurt, to inflict it on others and himself. He's been keeping it in, knowing it's irrational, that it's not who he is; and it's been getting better in the last week with his recovery. With feeling more like himself. With being loved, knowing that he's not a monster. This happens to people here.
They make mistakes. It's not what defines them.
(The next part is always hard, but he hasn't needed to be alone.)
His fingers scrape against the bowl, fortunately a metal texture for the way the pads turn white, for the sound his nails make before they click off from the surface. Robby doesn't look at what he's doing. Staring off in some spot under Mister LaRusso's head once he's finished speaking, his own lips pursing, tightening.
He did it when Robby wasn't even there. When he couldn't have been there, when Mister LaRusso hadn't even liked him going in the first place. Lured him. Did this to him over and over, his entire life. It's all their story is--a tale of violation, over and over.
Robby keeps the words he wants to say trapped, but he can't; he digs into the metal of the bowl, and looks at Mister LaRusso with an expression as anguished as it is furious. A voice low.
"...if he touches you again, I'll kill him. I don't care. If he shows his face--"
He cuts himself off, mouth shutting tight again, but there's nothing vague about what he would have said, repeated again. I'll go for him.
But there's more than fury behind it. There's a pain to it, even when he doesn't speak, an apology in his eyes that his mouth can't give. He wants justice for Mister LaRusso, the man he's about to make a bond with--the man he's loved in more ways than one.
How can he want anything else than to hurt his abuser?
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But there's no negative reaction from Robby. Not towards Daniel, anyway. But it's not the positive kindness from before either. Instead it's--
It's a third, unexpected thing, and Daniel finally does look over at Robby, even if it's just to do so in surprise, his eyes a little wider. There's something in his heart, a feeling Daniel can't quite place, doesn't have time to think about, at the idea of someone willing to defend him, to keep him from harm.
There's indeed no time though. Not when Robby is expressing this sort of sentiment so intensely. Daniel figures it's a mixture of everything. Of the things Robby has only just gotten over - the violent lashing out - and a natural anger Robby must be feeling right now at hearing about all this. The latter is part of the touching emotion in Daniel's heart, but it's no good when it comes with the former, and the man drops all shame to close the proximity between him and Robby a little again, his hand landing on top of one of the hands that's clutching the bowl, cold skin against warm skin.
"He's not here," Daniel says. The emotion hasn't fully left his voice yet, still a little vulnerable, but he tries to make it sound as reassuring as can be.
It's true, after all. If this awful bond has been good for one thing, it's the fact that it told him without a doubt that Terry Silver is gone.
"We are. That's the bond I want to focus on."
So he can finally have one he's proud of, rather than one that symbolizes nothing but shame.
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He wants to tear Silver apart, and he can't do anything about it. The emotion doesn't calm, even with Mister LaRusso's reassurance, the request to move forward. He can hardly focus on why they're in the dojo in the first place, what they were doing, but Robby mutters a forced "Okay" and sets the bowl between them, scrunching his hands into fists.
At least until he reconsiders that, and takes one of Mister LaRusso's hands into his instead, his hold ever so firm. Quiet, until:
"...we'll get rid of it. What he did. I promise."
Robby doesn't know what it takes or if it's possible (even in his worst days with Mob, he never truly wanted to get rid of theirs--he wanted to do anything else than lose it), but the reality doesn't matter. He promises it now because he has to, if just to pull himself out of his own anger, to continue with what they were doing. Even if it feels like there's a ghost ever present with them now, looming right above them. Right behind them.
(And if only there was, so Robby could be-- could be a monster he doesn't want to be. He didn't want to be this again, did he?)
His hands fidget, and he lets go of Mister LaRusso's, trying to focus on the bowl and not the upset he can feel wanting to reach his eyes. The contents inside the bowl have become a murky grey, a burning smell to the nose between the bloods, ashes and petals. Robby fiddles with the cuff of his right sleeve, pulling it back as he asks in a lowered voice, "Are you ready?"
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For how difficult Daniel can be about matters - especially these kinds of matters - the man seems to agree easily with Robby's words while he's still holding Daniel's hands. Sure, the man's answer is a little on the quiet side, but it doesn't sound like it's given away hesitantly.
"Let's look into that later, alright? Together."
If doing that makes Robby feel better, then it's easy for Daniel to go along with it, after all. He may not have tried to get rid of the mark earlier, but.. that's just because of an entire pile of complicated reasons, of not even daring to speak up about it or ask out of pure shame.
A shame that's hard to get over, but one he'll try to get over if it's for Robby. For this boy, the one that's about to officially become his son. After all, to the locals here, these markings are as good as any legal papers would be back home.
But with Robby withdrawing his hands, with the other rolling up that sleeve.. Daniel's tone raises a little bit again out of the quiet, especially as he moves his fingers into the bowl, right into the paste, getting a good amount of the mixture onto his hand. "I'll do it first."
If not just because the poor boy is looking so upset about all of this. A part of Daniel regrets having spoken up, if not just for that.
He wanted this to be something nice for Robby. Something that reminds him that he's got something good going for him - something he won't just lose. A father who's ready to stick around this time.
".. are you ready for it?" Because he doesn't want to touch Robby yet until the other answers that.
(And because, maybe, Daniel is so good at repressing emotions that it feels easy to shove aside all of the Terry thoughts while he's focusing his entire mind instead on Robby instead in this moment - but it's clearly not as easy for the boy himself.)
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