[ Robby doesn't mean to disrupt the moment, but if Mister LaRusso's ready to come out of the hug, then he doesn't fight it. He pulls back to keep himself up by his own weight, smiling a little at the older man when their eyes catch; uncertain, embarrassed, but more in the way that's suitable for two people meeting after so long and with the missteps made between them: where this all feels like it should be unreal, but somehow, it isn't.
Even seeing Mister LaRusso's face so close--and even with its marks, its bruising--is so much to him. ]
I'll get some, [ he tells him about the medicine and the food, already starting to lift himself off from the bed. His feet don't get in the way of what's on the floor, and he doesn't think to pick it up; and it seems Mister LaRusso is doing so when he spots him going for his phone, the man's own still in his jacket pocket. Robby's about to let him know about it, but the words catch in his throat when he notices where Mister LaRusso's attention goes next, what pauses him in his place.
The faces he can see smiling underneath the glass.
It pauses Robby as well, watching Mister LaRusso pick up the framed photo into his hand, examining it for a while. He stays standing there by the bed, even when Mister LaRusso sits back down again, typing out what turns out to be a text-to-voice message. Wondering what he's thinking, curious about what he might say--does Mister LaRusso remember that day? Did he put it in the packaging he found it in?
Admittedly, the voice from the phone unnerves him a little, but Robby shakes it off. Right-- ]
Did you hear about the bank? My roommate wanted to check it out, so I went with him. Turned out the back room had a bunch of storage drawers with stuff in them that belongs to people. That was in my drawer.
[ He nods to the frame at that end, and then remembers what else he has on him: what now feels like it's burning in his pocket, and even thinking about it makes him add: ]
Someone had my juvie forms in hers.
[ And if Mister LaRusso looks at him then, Robby will miss his eye, look away. ]
The sword that's been hanging over them this entire time. Sure, technically it's two swords, if you want to count this as one and Cobra Kai as the other, but in Daniel's mind they are intrinsically connected. He couldn't have imagined Robby ever having joined Cobra Kai if things hadn't gone down the way they had - if Daniel hadn't made the mistakes he made. If he hadn't failed Robby so hard that the only thing the boy could do was move towards the worst place possible. Why else would Robby ever have-- the boy who looked right at him when he said mister Miyagi would surely make an exception when it came to using violence with Cobra Kai, who seemed more suspicious of ex-Cobra Kai students joining them at first than anyone else.
And Daniel knows that Robby knows it's the sword hanging over them too. Daniel actually manages to keep looking at Robby, even after the boy mentions the j-word, but the way he can't seem to catch Robby's gaze says it all.
He stops his attempts to catch the gaze, instead looking down at the photo on his lap, his eyes instead meeting the gaze of the boy staring out of the frame at him, a smile on that Robby's face that's reflected in his eyes.
Daniel sucks in a breath, and he knows what he has to do. This isn't even about a fear of losing Robby right after having regained the ability to talk - or, you know, "talk" - with the boy again at all. It's about doing right by Robby. The young Robby staring at him, unknowing of what's yet to happen to him, and the Robby standing here with him in this room.
He types on his phone. ]
I am so sorry, Robby.
[ If Robby does turn to him this time to try and stop him, or tries to speak up and interrupt, Daniel will shake his head - and can Robby really resist those big, sad, guilty baby brows staring at him?
Just let him type for another moment. He has to say this. It can't even wait until god knows when Daniel will find his actual voice again. ]
I know what you said. [ Only a few moments ago. That Daniel doesn't have to apologize to Robby. But that's the thing-- he does. He does. ] But you did all of that because I hurt you. I never meant to, of course, but I still did. I wanted to help you, but I went the wrong way about it. I should just have talked with you about juvie.
[ Daniel can feel the guilt churning in his gut, just thinking about it. Just hearing the phone read his apology out loud, the sound echoing in his ears. It's mirrored in his expression too - especially when Daniel already looks so tired and kind of pathetic, considering his current physical state. ]
You are a good person, Robby. And if you ever had to feel otherwise, it's since I let you down when you needed me the most.
[ Of course Robby tries to speak. The moment that first line comes out from the phone, the dull monotonous apology that speaks for Mister LaRusso, Robby pipes up himself with the plan to say more, maybe even the sliver of an urge to take the phone from him. It's only the shake of the head and look that Robby receives that stops him, both physically and verbally.
He bites down on his bottom lip with a frown, his own pathetic look shot right back at Mister LaRusso, even if the older man looks away to continue to text away onto his phone.
And nothing about it changes Robby's mind, the words he wanted to say to cut him off with. The expression he gives Mister LaRusso, a plea to understand. ]
I don't care about that anymore. I'm just...tired of the whole thing. Being angry at you and my dad, hating Miguel and Sam, it never got me anywhere. You were there for me more than anyone's been there in my life. But I...
[ How can he explain it? When there are some wounds there, sure, the kind he would like to leave buried, the type of hurt that has yet to be completely pushed aside. What about their talk in the rehab garden hurt, what he felt replayed when Sam came and found him in the skatepark. It's a hurt that breathes in slowly, a balloon inflating within his ribcage, pushing against it and his insides uncomfortably.
But where does he take it? A feeling so irrational, so exhausting--what good is there in unpacking it, when assigning blame just left him as miserable as he was after the tournament? When hearing it now, not exactly with Mister LaRusso's voice, but a stand-in good enough only makes his limbs tired? His heart ache.
His head hangs in the moment he unravels it, tries to find the words to say what he's already said. Looking up again at Mister LaRusso, the request still in his features, the slant of his brows. ]
I missed you, [ he settles on, softly. ] And I made choices that you can't take the blame for. And I would've been fine if you didn't want to forgive me for them, but I want to let go of what I've been carrying for this past year.
[ At least Daniel does stay quiet now it's Robby's time to speak. He isn't even holding on to the phone anymore, not in the position ready to text again - instead having put the device down on his lap with the photo, turning his attention fully towards the boy, two gazes crossing each other.
Even though it's hard. It was hard enough when Robby's gaze was hostile, when he shoved a wall between them that Daniel just couldn't climb over. This is hard too, but in a different way, a way that makes Daniel's chest ache. Robby is far too young to already have to speak like this, talk about being tired, about it hurting.
But this is about what Robby wants. So after the other is done talking, Daniel nods - after a tiny pause, and slowly, but he nods. If Robby wants to let it go, then.. Daniel will try to do the same thing, even though what Terry Silver has done to him makes it feel harder to let go of anything, makes it feel like everything is forever trapped right inside of his ribcage, stuck there alongside his heart.
But if this is what Robby wants, then he will try. Then he will nod.
The nod is followed up with Daniel patting the spot on the bed besides him, like he's asking Robby to sit back down again, if not for a moment.
And when the boy does, Daniel looks down at the photo again, moving it a little so it's more between him and Robby, in a spot where they can both see it. Even if Daniel is quiet for another moment, unsure of where to start, how to address Robby's feelings on top of it - something about the picture compels him to speak about it-- picking up Robby's phone again to talk. ]
I thought of you a lot. [ Like he said, he missed Robby. Like Robby just said-- he missed Daniel too. ] I had this photo ready, but then everything happened, and it didn't feel like I had the right to put it up anymore. I still looked at it from time to time.
[ Until it hurt too much. But that's not what Daniel wants to say here after what Robby he said, not what he wants to touch on for the boy. ]
I packed it up, hoping that I would be able to put it up one day. Or give it to you.
[ Hence the state Robby had found the object in in the first place. ]
Because this day was so important to me. [ He stops typing for a moment, instead tapping at the glass of the frame with one hand, staring at the two smiling faces for a moment. It makes something soften in his gaze. ] I was carrying so much before that moment too. Before we went to mister Miyagi's house and turned it into the dojo, I hadn't been there in years. I know I said back then that I hadn't had the chance to go back there, but it was more just that I couldn't go there. Facing it all after mister Miyagi's death felt too hard. Even just thinking about it hurt, so I acted like I left it all behind me. I stopped teaching Sam karate. I didn't go to mister Miyagi's place anymore, not even to see the cars. I completely banned something that had been such a big part of me out of my life.
[ Daniel stops typing for a moment. He wonders if it'd be easier to just have said all of this if he could've-- but he figures that would've been just as hard as hearing those words being read out loud to him and Robby. Maybe just in different ways.
He swallows, continues, pushed on by the urge that's lingered ever since first laying eyes on the photo, since laying eyes on Robby. Wanting to make sure the boy knows-- ]
What changed all of that was you, Robby. Actually doing karate again, going back to mister Miyagi's place, cleaning up the place the way I had done with him all those years ago..
I could only leave all the grief and pain behind and face all of it because of you. Because I knew that there was someone who needed me.
[ -- that he knows how important he is. In general, but-- also to Daniel.
He types one more sentence, glancing sideways at Robby when it's read out. ]
And that I needed that someone as well.
[ The way one boy can walk into your life and suddenly give it back all of its colour.
[ Robby doesn't hesitate on sitting next to the man. He's honest when he says he's tired--tired of running, from hiding away from the tough subjects. Is he doing that now, by wanting to dismiss and put aside apologies or blame? He doesn't think so; because he knows months of doing that truly didn't get him anywhere, and even the hint of bringing it back up--it makes that fog that haunted him all that time, the anger that he carried around for too long, threaten to emerge. Clinging to his limbs, making his body uncomfortable.
He fought to do anything to ride it, use it so that he'd be free of it. Played Kreese and Silver's games just for a chance to feel anything else, even if it was spite and bitterness.
Robby sits, because he doesn't want to fight anymore.
There's something uncomfortable about the photo, that hasn't lessened since he uncovered it from its wrapping. The faces and mood that have been lost to the time they came from, a kind of innocence that can't be stepped back into. Because Robby remembers that guy next to Mister LaRusso--that student next to his sensei. Wide-eyed, trusting, wanting nothing more than to be someone worth anything, willing to take a few hits to the heart sometimes.
A tiny part of him wouldn't mind being him again, though Robby knows he never can be, doesn't wish it completely. Not when he knows the hurt that follows, and hiding in the past won't bring him any relief.
Maybe this is just what most people feel when they look upon a time and place that held any meaning in their lives, but Robby doesn't get to indulge in it long as Mister LaRusso starts to 'speak'; or as his phone does, and Robby listens to it with a bowed head. Not looking at the photo, but neither at Mister LaRusso, when its not his voice the one verbalising his message. As if doing this will let him concentrate and listen to the words better--and they're worth it, the story that they share. His hands hold loosely together where they sit on his lap, but Robby starts rubbing them some as the message goes on. Not continuously, but idly, playing with his fingers as he tries to imagine a Mister LaRusso that's, truthfully, difficult to see.
Because there's still traces of the man he became to Robby during his hurt, and then there's the parts of him that Mister LaRusso makes him remember, and see. And then Robby knows that he has to connect them both, because neither are wrong: the man with a temper that can be sharp, but a man who kept reaching out, over and over. The man who became his sensei, gave him a home and purpose. The man who could kick him out with a snap of his fingers, the man who let him in so close to his life.
A man he learned to fear for that power he had over him, because he took one too many of those beatings to his chest.
Robby looks at Mister LaRusso once the messages finish. A glance at first, his mind still digesting over the emotion, both of the message and within himself. But he does bring his eyes to rest on the man, his expression tender, his lips pressed together. Slow to speak. ]
...We both messed up, [ he decides--not over meeting each other, not because of what's been shared, but everything after. ] Sometimes, things escalate so much that you don't know how things turned out the way they did. One moment you're doing karate in the back of a garden, and then the next--it's gone. I couldn't see it anymore, that life I had...
[ Because he felt used. He felt disposable.
His hands tighten, his fingernails pressing into his skin. A sharper pain present around the rims of his eyes.
His voice lowers. ]
It didn't exist anymore. And it was hard, unpacking what I did; everything I bottled up, didn't want to deal with. What I did to Miguel... it was easier to bury it. I thought I'd always be a bad guy anyway. Because I got too mad at the wrong time...
[ The wrong kick.
He raises an arm to wipe near an eye with the back of his shirt, sniffs, and takes in a breath to settle his nerves. Presses his hands back together, curling them into one fist. ]
We lost something good, [ is all he can think to say. Without blame, without dwelling into why. Because there's too many reasons why; because it doesn't help with what's already done and gone, won't ever bring back the past.
But maybe, being able to acknowledge the pain and grieve for it is enough--and to do it with someone willing to share their grief with you can mean all the more. ]
[ There's something painful in the words, a different kind than the pain from having to recall all the things he spoke of a moment ago, delving into the well of pain left in the wake of mister Miyagi's death. Or maybe it's a pain that comes from seeing Robby like this - a young boy, and already so full of pain. Caused by adults who screwed up. (Daniel was one of those adults.)
Or maybe it's the deep and sad feeling that's been soaking into his limbs for a while now that's making this feel even heavier. After all - what does Daniel have right now? Even without taking being dragged into this city into consideration, he's lost everything. The dojo is closed. Amanda's about to divorce him and take the kids. He got his ass handed to him by his worst nightmare, by the person who's haunted Daniel's every nightmare over the past decades.
It makes it so tempting to just give up. We lost something good, Robby says, and it applies to basically everything in Daniel's life right now. Why try anymore? Trying only makes him screw up more, dragging other people and their feelings and hurt along into the messiness.
But this is the thing, isn't it? Daniel stares sideways at Robby, at the way the boy seems on the verge of tears, and Daniel can't give up. Yes, he's terrified of hurting Robby again, but maybe the worst kind of hurt he could give the boy would be to give up on him entirely. ]
We did. [ He acknowledges, letting his phone read it out, and then pauses to instead let his hand land on Robby's leg, giving his knee a tiny squeeze. It rests there a moment, Daniel still looking at Robby, regardless of whether or not the boy does look back at him. (If Robby looks, he'll see a similar feeling reflected in Daniel's eyes. Pain, mostly, but definitely more than a little bit of guilt on his end too. Because I got too mad at the wrong time, Robby says, and yeah, Daniel sure knows about that, since shattering Robby's heart feels like a terrible thing on the level of shattering someone's back.)
It's only after that pause he pulls his hand back to use it to type again. ]
But that doesn't mean there is nothing left. Even if things might not be the same, there is always the chance for something new.
[ The bonsai he broke, the guilt he felt over it, the descending spiral of realising that he broke it and that it was never going to be the same again-- until mister Miyagi showed it healing to him. Strong root, just like you, Daniel-san.
Daniel hopes right now, more than ever, that mister Miyagi was right about him. It never really felt that way.
He sucks in a deep breath. ]
I still want to be there for you. If you would let me. [ The choice is Robby's, after all. Sure - he missed Daniel, which is already more of a sentiment than Daniel thought he'd ever get, let alone deserve, but it's not like Robby doesn't have the full right to walk away if he'd want to. After all Daniel put him through-- after Robby only finding him again like this. Drunk. A mess. ] I want to make sure you are safe in this place.
[ There's some irony when a clearly injured man who was found drunk is the one saying that, yes, but it's not like he means it any less for it. ]
I want to spend time with you again.
[ .. he pauses, his lips pressing a little tighter together before adding: ]
I want to prove to you I can do better this time. [ Better by Robby. Isn't that what matters? ]
[ Robby doesn't mean to avoid Mister LaRusso's gaze. He still does, though he looks at him when he squeezes his leg in a brief acknowledgement, a small smile pressed onto his lips that leaves when he looks away. Down at the hand while it's on his knee, then at his own hands--feeling the weight of their conversation, the emotions exposed.
He's never spoken much about it. Everything, and the cracks he's allowing to come through now. Later, he might wonder if it's because of the juvie papers in his pocket that kept him coming back to Miguel, the fight--but it was a fight that became about more than just two people, that was never just about them in the first place.
It's not a bad thing. It's not bad to admit to what he's done, and he feels they're in agreement when Mister LaRusso continues using his phone to get out his messages, which....Robby will start to pay better attention to, watching his hands as he types.
I want to spend time with you again. I want to prove to you I can do better this time.
Robby clasps his hands together, gives a tiny--but more fun--smile as he looks at Mister LaRusso. ]
As you saying you want to be my sensei again? [ ...it doesn't really seem like that, except towards the end, which is why his mind goes that. Back to what their relationship was, even though Mister LaRusso was a quasi-guardian to him in that time he lived with him and the rest of the LaRussos.
But maybe it gives him a good reason to say what he isn't sure he'd get a chance to back in the Valley (at least, not any time soon): ] 'Cause I would say yes.
[ The term sensei has always been a loaded one for Daniel. After all, even if he never called mister Miyagi that, prefering to keep using the other's name, mister Miyagi had been his sensei. It elevated the idea of what a sensei is or what a sensei is supposed to do to such great heights in Daniel's mind. And yet he did try. He started his own dojo, got more students, and tried to be the kind of person that deserved that title.
.. and then failed spectacularly. Again, and again, and again.
He looks over at Robby while the other speaks, and keeps looking even after that, even as all those thoughts go through his mind. He has to look at the main product of Daniel's personal failures as a sensei, he has to acknowledge it.
Which also means acknowledging Robby's own feelings, right? What Robby wants. Even if there's a large part of Daniel that feels like he isn't qualified for this, a part that's only grown larger and larger with the Silver situation spiralling wildly out of hand-- it's Robby's decision, more than anyone else's.
(And it's not like Daniel doesn't want it, right? Sure, he doesn't feel like he deserves it, but that's another level entirely. If he's honest with himself, he knows he's selfish enough to want to strengthen his bond with Robby all over again, given the choice.)
So after a few moments of quiet staring, Daniel's lips finally curl up into a smile. It's faint, but.. it doesn't seem to be fake. Even as small as it is, it's real, and there's something touched in the man's gaze.
He doesn't use Robby's phone to reply this time. He just rests the device in his lap, using his hands not to text but to reach out. Not to Robby's knee this time, but instead a hand on his back, resting between his shoulderblades, warm and steady despite Daniel's rather haggard appearance.
[ It's, at the very least, not a question that comes with the expectation for their lives to fall back into the training that took place in their past--that this will bring Miyagi-do to this city, that they might even do anything seriously with karate. Maybe they will, maybe they won't; Robby isn't thinking any further than the memory of who Mister LaRusso used to be to him, as his sensei.
A different kind of sensei than Kreese or Silver had ever become, only concerned with technique and winning. So when Robby sees the smile, the warmth that seems to enter his gaze, Robby bumps their arms together, or what he can from where they both sit. After that nod, the hand that's on his back; a friendly, easy gesture given in return. Something that hasn't been there between them in so long.
It has Robby still smiling after, pinched onto his lips. They still have their current circumstances to deal with, but maybe for a moment, it's easy to forget about, to put side and not have be the main focus. A reprieve even from the severity of what they're going through, and Robby enjoys it, sense be damned.
It's just nice, to have Mister LaRusso accept him again--after everything. And though he won't say it himself, he plans to look after the older man too. But you know, he can't be as mushy about it as him.
Instead--though without any rush to leave this nice position of sitting next to Mister LaRusso and all--Robby turns to him, cocking his head. ]
You want me to get that water and everything now?
[ You know. That thing he was meant to be doing. ]
Granted, Robby did mention something about the door not wanting to open - but maybe it was just stuck? Maybe Daniel could try to get it open this time. Not like he isn't used to doing some DIY, after all. Opening stuck doors is basically the same thing. And he knows that even though meeting Robby again and establishing this new trust between them has done wonders for his heart already, there's only so much it can do for Daniel's current hangover. He really should get something to drink, and some pills.
.. and he should probably lie back down, too. It'd be the smartest option. But even though Daniel rationally knows it's not like Robby will disappear from this world if he leaves this room, there's something about being allowed by the boy's side again that Daniel is reluctant to part with again so quickly.
So after nodding again, he actually moves to stand up again. It's a little wobbly at first once more, but then he seems to grow a bit more steady on his legs.
(Hey-- balance is his thing, okay?)
He doesn't even have to write that he's coming along onto the phone. His body language and actions betray it all already, and when Daniel slowly moves over to the door, it actually opens easily with just some minor pressure on the doorknob. Huh, Robby, seems like it wasn't such a problem after all..!
Not that Daniel comments on it. There's way more important things to be said, things he skipped over because he was too taken by the surprise of Robby to really think about anything else. So he turns to look at the boy, perhaps having to lean against the wall with his shoulder a little to steady himself, still kind of dizzy and nauseous.
Not too dizzy and nauseous to type, though. ]
How have you been here?
[ Another thing that's important to know, even if he couldn't get to it until now. ]
[ A sensei won't just let his student take care of him, will he?
Because look who's coming with him when he stands up? And look at the face Robby makes when he sees you getting up, Daniel. Because that's a face of a boy who isn't very pleased to see their drunken companion getting out of bed, considering the empty bottle he had been accompanied by at the grave. Call it being a learned form of worry warting over drunken adults, but he figures he won't complain right away.
He'll let him get up to have a drink with his painkillers, have a bite to eat, and Robby can shove him back to bed if he needs to.
First things first: the door.
...which is an entirely undramatic affair when the handle is tried, and--what the fuck, it dares to open? What the fuck. And yes, Robby is internally pissed about that, because do you know how long he was sitting around inside that room because it wouldn't open?
--whatever. Whatever, we're not getting stuck on the door.
He's going to suck on the inside of the cheek and have Thoughts about it instead, curse it a little more, seeing as he can't move with Mister LaRusso stopping and typing. That would be rude. ]
You should've stayed in bed.
[ ...that callout isn't rude, though. It's just The Truth. But alright, alright: ] I'm fine. [ ...well. ] As fine as anyone here can be.
[ Which can only lead Robby to that question that was bugging him before, a small frown coming onto his face. He nods at Mister LaRusso. ]
[ It's a callout Daniel will accept. You know, to listen to. Not to actually follow up on, since the man definitely is not making even the slightest effort to walk back over to the bed and lie down.
He can always do that later. He just-- He wants to spend a few more moments with Robby first. It feels too important to immediately go sleep again, no matter how much his head is pounding right now. It's hopefully nothing some hydratation and pills won't fix.
(A-And maybe a nap, but-- later, okay? Let a sensei have a moment with the boy he missed so much.)
Even if said boy is asking him one of the hardest possible questions. Daniel has had to open up a touch about what happened to the doctors here, since they needed to know what was wrong with him, but he's been so careful to keep any details about what happened hidden, not wanting to think or talk about them.
But he doesn't want to let Robby hanging either.
It makes Daniel suck in a deep breath, pushing his shoulder off the wall to instead support himself with one hand leaning against it, so he can start to move a little. Thankfully all the apartments are similar enough that he's got a good idea of where the kitchen is.
He is answering Robby though. Not verbally - or, you know, through the phone - but instead with a shake of his head.
He can't directly look at the boy as he shakes his head either. ]
Granted, Robby doesn't exactly know what the answer tells, once it's given; a shake of the head that only comes once Mister LaRusso's walked through the door and made his way towards a kitchen (a pair of cups on the sink side turned over and washed out, a loaf of bread pushed by the wall, a very ordinary picture of a kitchen).
Shame, maybe. That's what Robby comes to, when he's met with a silence and nothing else, not even Mister LaRusso looking back at him.
He doesn't know what to immediately do with that, but with the man in the kitchen space and probably looking for that drink-- ] You get some water, I'll go get the painkillers.
[ Robby doesn't have time to exactly fold over this information, which is fairly apparent once he does. It was there, obviously: that if Mister LaRusso wasn't attacked in the city, then he was attacked back home. By who? Not a friend--Mister LaRusso would have waved a hand and been easier about saying no, right? Unless Robby's misinterpreted his current mood into something it's not.
He grabs the painkillers from the cupboard, opening up the packet while making his way back into the kitchen. Daniel's likely gotten his drink of water by now, right? And though it's not necessary, Robby's popped a couple-- no, three pills for the man.
You can't avoid looking at Robby if you want them, Daniel. A face that looks curious, but hesitant to ask the obvious follow-up.
[ He was honestly kind of hoping that his previous answer - even if it was ultimately just a shake of his head - would have been enough for Robby. A foolish assumption on Daniel's part, honestly, because when has any teenager ever been satisfied with a slight answer like that, that actually answers nothing in the long run?
Let alone a teenager that's invested in your wellbeing.
(A concept that may not have entirely been processed by Daniel's brain just yet, even though Robby took all the trouble of dragging him back to the apartment after finding him out there drunk in the first place.)
So Daniel stands there, glass of water in hand, moving to take the pills from Robby..
.. and then coming across that expression.
It says something about the boy's power over Daniel that it makes the man freeze up for a moment, just staring at those eyes. They've done so much to him in the past already. Given him hope during the early days of the dojo, shot bullets through his heart after Robby joined Cobra Kai - and now they still have that same power, rendering Daniel fully unable to shrug off the question in those eyes, even if he'd want to.
He ducks his head, popping the pills into his mouth one by one before washing them down with water. Swallowing them, chasing it with another mouthful of water, breathing in and out.
Daniel puts the glass back onto the counter, then takes a step back so he can lean his body against said counter as well, still unsteady on his feet. But he does take the phone back out of the pocket he dropped it into, answering rather than avoiding. ]
I tried to stop Cobra Kai.
[ He ponders leaving it at that. It's not like it isn't the full answer when it comes down to it, like the implications in that statement don't do a whole lot of work for him.
Daniel looks back at Robby, Daniel's own gaze slightly faltering, and decides he has to go on, at least a little bit. ]
I shut down the dojo so I could work on that with a friend I invited over from Okinawa. We wanted to stop Cobra Kai's expansion by exposing Silver for who he really is.
[ I tried to stop Cobra Kai. An effort Mister LaRusso's been working at since...forever, really, if in varying forms. Dismantling its credibility, while Robby--he helped to cushion it. He realises that fact when he hears the phone say it, and Robby, to his credit, only looks away in a blink, returning his sight forward on Mister LaRusso and his texting.
Because trying to stop Cobra Kai can mean a lot of things, a direct confrontation--with Silver, Robby suspects. He almost asks, but he sees fingers moving and decides to wait.
Instead, he looks slightly confused, but more concerned, even when his assumption appears to have been in the right direction. ]
[ The man stops typing for long enough to listen to what Robby is saying, looking up from the phone and over at the boy as the words leave Robby's mouth.
The answer to the question is a rather small shake of Daniel's head. Then some hesitation - (how much should he share with Robby, how much does he even want to say here?), then more typing. ]
Silver caught on to what I was doing. He cornered me and took me by surprise when I was alone. I tried fighting back, but he was too strong.
[ It's leaving out a lot. Mostly the emotional component of it all, the fact that Silver had already pretty much broken his spirit before the fight even happened.
But that feels like too much to share. He doesn't want the heavy burden on his own shoulders to become Robby's - especially not if they're going to be stuck here in this city. He wants to protect the boy from the nastiness of everything back home, even this far away from it.
So Daniel doesn't write more than that. Instead his gaze moves up, looking over at the boy, giving him a little apologetic gaze - even though it's hard to tell what the apology is for. Maybe for being in this state in the first place, when Daniel definitely wants to present other, better sides of himself to a boy who means so much to him.
Especially right after reuniting again after so long. ]
[ There's no reason for Robby to doubt the answer. Mister LaRusso continuing to go after Cobra Kai -- it was inevitable, wasn't it? Cobra Kai didn't stop being dangerous after one tournament, a bad influence that even Robby was aware of while in the dojo. He just didn't care. He told himself he didn't care.
(He can be a good liar to himself.)
His mouth tugs as he stands with the information, not sure what exactly he feels, other than...bad. What is there to say? Does he ask what exactly Mister LaRusso and his friend was doing? When the details don't seem....particularly important, other than the goal. Going up against a man like Silver.
Mister LaRusso was wealthy, but Silver was millionaire wealthy. ]
...My dad took the bet seriously. I figured you did too.
[ There's no judgment in that remark; only, an acknowledgement that Robby knows who's been missing in this takedown of Cobra Kai, when Mister LaRusso and his dad seemed to have been working together against them. His dad never talked deeply his feelings, and Robby doesn't know what he really thought about it--he just seemed to want to put it all behind him, focus on their relationship, and his life with Miss Diaz (...and Miguel).
He's quiet, but then asks, ] Did you and him talk about it?
[ Even though it's been hard to think about everything in the face of the surprise of speaking to Robby again now, Daniel did wonder just a little bit what Johnny told him - if Johnny told him anything, anyway. After speaking to the blonde, Daniel figured that the other was probably just trying to keep Robby as far away from karate as possible, even just from the very topic.
.. especially with what Johnny said. With Johnny's own feelings on the matter.
Daniel's gaze dips in a way that - at least partially - already answers the question before he actually tries to answer it. He stares at the kitchen floor for a moment, but then at the phone when he starts typing again. ]
Your father told me it was none of his business anymore after he got you out of Cobra Kai. He said we should leave it alone.
[ Looking back on the conversation isn't great for a myriad of reasons - certainly not least of which is Daniel feeling kind of ashamed of his own behaviour back there.
But something about the way Johnny seemed so uncaring about the influence it was still having on other kids still doesn't seem right with him, even when he disregards the stuff the other probably just said because Daniel came across like a raving lunatic. He might not always give the man leeway for his general Johnny-ness, but Daniel does realise he had a big hand himself in how that conversation went.
.. and look where it got him. Getting his ass kicked all by himself, then disappeared off to another city. Daniel wonders if anyone would've even found him there, were he not here instead now. ]
[ Something close to guilt forms before Robby can really establish why he feels guilty--because if he takes the minute to think about it, he probably is part of the reason his dad stopped getting involved with Cobra Kai. Him and Kreese always seemed to have more of the history, and between his breakdown and Miguel running off to Mexico, his dad must've figured that was the place he should focus from then on.
What more could they actually do about Cobra Kai? How do you stop a business from running, that provided nothing but wins in tournaments? ]
Everything just...it felt like a lot back then. The tournaments, the drama in-between; I don't know how it was for you two, [ when they were working together, or even in the time he was in juvie, ] but with me and everything going on with the Diazs, nothing ever feeling like it was getting better...
[ But Robby can't finish that. How can he, when he's saying all this to Mister LaRusso--who continued to try and fight, got his ass kicked for it? Trying to explain his dad, a man he's still learning, trying to know-- ]
It was easier to quit. [ --but in reality, only explaining himself as he looks at Mister LaRusso with a complicated, unhappy expression. ] It was hard to see a way forward.
[ ...and yet, it doesn't feel right to even leave it at, true as the words are. Because there's been time since he left, time since the exhaustion of dealing with Tory and Kenny has become worrisome again. He couldn't get them out by himself, no, not just by his words. ]
...but the students there need a way out, too. Silver was just as bad as Kreese--he didn't care how you won. And they, uh--they really changed for the worse. [ He tips his head aside. ] And me.
[ He's acknowledged as much already, but maybe it bears repeating, just the way that dojo can screw with you. So maybe, even if it's hard, even if it seems impossible--taking it out is always a cause worth fighting. Not giving up for.
Robby lifts his gaze, briefly lowered, back over to Mister LaRusso. ]
[ Daniel does listen, even if he doesn't look in the boy's direction while he's doing so. Despite having spent quite some time in this place already, it's not like what happened back home doesn't still have its claws deep within Daniel, especially when he's had no one to talk about it, only idle time and more idle time to ponder all of it all by himself.
It makes it so easy to fall back into negative thoughts at everything Robby says. First the talk about Johnny - and maybe Johnny was the one in the right, maybe Daniel was crazy for continuing to fight, forever the one between the two of them who didn't know how to back then when he should, you couldn't leave well enough alone, you little twerp?
But he couldn't leave Cobra Kai alone. Not with what has been haunting his mind, the thoughts Robby voices here too. Cobra Kai is so bad. It's terrible for kids. If Daniel doesn't stop it, then more kids will keep getting hurt - just like Daniel was, all those years ago. (He knows how bad Silver is, doesn't need Robby to tell him, though he's keenly aware Robby has no idea just how well Daniel knew decades before getting beaten up by the man.)
And he lost. He didn't get anything done. He got people hurt, got Mike's store burned down, got his own ass kicked, then disappeared off to this place.
It looks like Daniel is wilting on the spot, only the fact that he doesn't want Robby to have to worry about him even further keeping him from just staying quiet altogether. The nausea still present in his stomach and the droning pain in his head sure doesn't help either. ]
He is the one who committed the crime Kreese was sent to jail for. He most likely set him up.
[ Maybe it's why his answer is relatively brief, despite everything Robby says. Daniel doesn't know how to address any of the rest of it that doesn't involve feeling like he failed in every single regard of his plan.
Especially in front of Robby. Robby, who got helped by Johnny, while Daniel was doing nothing but failing at the one thing he set out to do. ]
[ His own cowardice peels back at Robby--pathetic, really, when he gave up over and over for what he played a part in. He didn't even think about it much; he never thought about what Mister LaRusso might've been doing, or thought about Cobra Kai as anything other than a brick wall. A dead end.
Tory was more stubborn than he was, and Kenny--he didn't even know who he was, now.
Mister LaRusso's message at least spares Robby from suffering too far in that mentality, though--because it hits him, wide-eyed and staring at Mister LaRusso, like he'd said the words himself. ]
Silver did? How-- why? I thought they... [ Does it even matter what Robby thought? He doesn't bother to finish, taking in a breath, but still trying to even wrap his head around it. Why is everything so insane? ]
[ Daniel shakes his head in response. There's so little he knows about the entire ordeal as well, after all. Even if Robby didn't finish his sentence, Daniel is pretty sure his mind was going in the same direction as Daniel's own - why would they even bother to betray each other? Weren't they working together? Even way back, decades ago, they had been working together. That had been the entire problem, the entire cause for Daniel's shame, his broken trust.
There's already enough negative feelings trying to nest within him though, so it's a little easier to let go of that one for the moment. ]
I got something in the mail. A newspaper article about the incident. Someone wrote that the guy who got beaten up had lied. I don't know who sent it.
[ He did contemplate it being a trap by Silver, but-- the information had been right. And if he thinks back on his confrontation with Silver - not something he likes to do, but something that's burned into his brain all the same - then it's not like the guy seemed particularly happy that Daniel found out, or that he was trying to get Raymond to testify against Silver. ]
It's how Silver cornered me. I first went to talk to the guy with someone else, but then later returned on my own, and then Silver was waiting for me there instead of him.
[ Sorry, Robby.
Things were wild while you were getting distracted by your dad's antics. ]
[ Someone knew about it... unless it had somehow been Kreese, but for the moment he thinks about that, he wonders if Kreese would have sent mail to Mister LaRusso of all people. Would he? Granted, he doesn't have a good idea about the man to know what he would do.
(He had done his best to ignore the parts of Cobra Kai he didn't like, after all. Isn't Cobra Kai just about winning, and surviving?)
But none of this is right--Mister LaRusso shouldn't have been by himself. Robby knows that things can't be made different, you can't change what's happened, but knowing what they've left back home and the mess that needs to be picked up--it's a frustration in his throat he can't swallow down. He could talk to his dad. He could talk to Tory again, Kenny--
Instead, they're stuck here. And Mister LaRusso... the state of him sticks with Robby when he looks at the man (and he's looking nowhere else). There's a mess they've left behind, and what was Mister LaRusso drinking about? Being away from his family? Silver being closer to them than he is?
He stands there, with so little to give. ]
--He's not getting away with it. With you gone, and me disappearing too? That's gonna cause problems for him and put our families on alert if he's the last person that saw you. I know it's not good to think about, [ worrying too deeply about what their families are going through, what they might be doing, ] but that's not going to be it for Silver... and right now...
[ He's stepping over, closer to Mister LaRusso; bringing them a step away from one another, just to allow them still their own space. Chin tilted up at him, meeting his eye. ]
...you should take it easy. You can sleep some more--unless you want some food first. But you can use my room instead of going back to your apartment. Plus...
[ ... ] You're not alone now.
[ Robby adds it weakly--at least, weak in the attempted positive note, a smile tugging on his lips. He doesn't know if being alone was a problem for the man, or what truly had him close to catatonic out by the graves, and he doesn't particularly want to ask either, but--
but maybe it can mean something small. Some kind of comfort, instead of landing nowhere at all. ]
Robby is right in his earlier assessment - that it's not good to think about those other things. Daniel has been desperately trying to avoid thinking of what happened back home and its consequences, even if his anxiety- and depression-riddled mind didn't give him an easy time with trying to ignore those things. But he doesn't want to think about what Silver could be doing now, whether he'd try to follow up on his threat despite the circumstances. He doesn't want to think about how worried Amanda might be, or the kids. Despite the fight they had, surely Amanda would-- She'd still notice, eventually, she'd still care..
And he's hurt her enough.
So Daniel still doesn't want to think about that, even now. It makes him feel a little childish, especially when Robby - so much younger than him - is willing to address it, willing to reassure him, even though that should be the other way around here.
But thankfully the boy gives him something better to think about. Something positive in the middle of all the things that threaten to make Daniel stand on the cliff side of losing his mind, between his worried about everything back home and his worries about this place.
And that positive thing is Robby's presence. His sweet care, the way he words things.
Even if so much changed, it's like nothing has changed at all.
Daniel did look particularly miserable, discussing all of this, but it's when Robby speaks those last words and stands closer to him and smiles at him that the misery fades a little from the man's features. Not fully gone, especially not in the middle of a half-drunk-half-hangover state, but..
He smiles.
It means something.
Daniel doesn't address it using his phone, but it's like his gaze and that small smile say just as much as words could. He isn't alone, indeed. He's glad he isn't alone, even if that gladness might be selfish, even if Robby shouldn't be here.
Instead, when he types on his phone, it's just for it to read out: ]
I should eat something first. But then I will sleep.
[ Like Robby was fussing about at him a few moments ago-- ]
I don't want to make you worry too much about me here. [ Even if Daniel is giving the poor boy way too many reasons to do so. ]
[ They're small motions of recognition, and they're enough--they're fine, when Mister LaRusso smiles. Because words alone are all they have, and maybe hope; until they can find more in this place, some better proof to Robby's point, or even a way out.
A way out would be good. A way back home would be really, really good.
The smile he gives back to Mister LaRusso is brighter, comes after his last message; after he's leaned off from the fridge, his hand now on its handle. ]
I'm worrying enough, [ he semi-chides, asserts, whichever way the man wants to take it. Looks at the fridge briefly. ] You want toast, a sandwich? There's meats in here. [ He tugs on the handle. ] You can pick what you want. I'll grab bread.
[ Which will mean them switching around, but hey, it'll be easier for Mister LaRusso to choose his sandwich (or toast) additions than for Robby to list out what they have. And Mister Larusso will probably feel better than if Robby babied every part of making food for him. ]
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Even seeing Mister LaRusso's face so close--and even with its marks, its bruising--is so much to him. ]
I'll get some, [ he tells him about the medicine and the food, already starting to lift himself off from the bed. His feet don't get in the way of what's on the floor, and he doesn't think to pick it up; and it seems Mister LaRusso is doing so when he spots him going for his phone, the man's own still in his jacket pocket. Robby's about to let him know about it, but the words catch in his throat when he notices where Mister LaRusso's attention goes next, what pauses him in his place.
The faces he can see smiling underneath the glass.
It pauses Robby as well, watching Mister LaRusso pick up the framed photo into his hand, examining it for a while. He stays standing there by the bed, even when Mister LaRusso sits back down again, typing out what turns out to be a text-to-voice message. Wondering what he's thinking, curious about what he might say--does Mister LaRusso remember that day? Did he put it in the packaging he found it in?
Admittedly, the voice from the phone unnerves him a little, but Robby shakes it off. Right-- ]
Did you hear about the bank? My roommate wanted to check it out, so I went with him. Turned out the back room had a bunch of storage drawers with stuff in them that belongs to people. That was in my drawer.
[ He nods to the frame at that end, and then remembers what else he has on him: what now feels like it's burning in his pocket, and even thinking about it makes him add: ]
Someone had my juvie forms in hers.
[ And if Mister LaRusso looks at him then, Robby will miss his eye, look away. ]
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The sword that's been hanging over them this entire time. Sure, technically it's two swords, if you want to count this as one and Cobra Kai as the other, but in Daniel's mind they are intrinsically connected. He couldn't have imagined Robby ever having joined Cobra Kai if things hadn't gone down the way they had - if Daniel hadn't made the mistakes he made. If he hadn't failed Robby so hard that the only thing the boy could do was move towards the worst place possible. Why else would Robby ever have-- the boy who looked right at him when he said mister Miyagi would surely make an exception when it came to using violence with Cobra Kai, who seemed more suspicious of ex-Cobra Kai students joining them at first than anyone else.
And Daniel knows that Robby knows it's the sword hanging over them too. Daniel actually manages to keep looking at Robby, even after the boy mentions the j-word, but the way he can't seem to catch Robby's gaze says it all.
He stops his attempts to catch the gaze, instead looking down at the photo on his lap, his eyes instead meeting the gaze of the boy staring out of the frame at him, a smile on that Robby's face that's reflected in his eyes.
Daniel sucks in a breath, and he knows what he has to do. This isn't even about a fear of losing Robby right after having regained the ability to talk - or, you know, "talk" - with the boy again at all. It's about doing right by Robby. The young Robby staring at him, unknowing of what's yet to happen to him, and the Robby standing here with him in this room.
He types on his phone. ]
I am so sorry, Robby.
[ If Robby does turn to him this time to try and stop him, or tries to speak up and interrupt, Daniel will shake his head - and can Robby really resist those big, sad, guilty baby brows staring at him?
Just let him type for another moment. He has to say this. It can't even wait until god knows when Daniel will find his actual voice again. ]
I know what you said. [ Only a few moments ago. That Daniel doesn't have to apologize to Robby. But that's the thing-- he does. He does. ] But you did all of that because I hurt you. I never meant to, of course, but I still did. I wanted to help you, but I went the wrong way about it. I should just have talked with you about juvie.
[ Daniel can feel the guilt churning in his gut, just thinking about it. Just hearing the phone read his apology out loud, the sound echoing in his ears. It's mirrored in his expression too - especially when Daniel already looks so tired and kind of pathetic, considering his current physical state. ]
You are a good person, Robby. And if you ever had to feel otherwise, it's since I let you down when you needed me the most.
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[ Of course Robby tries to speak. The moment that first line comes out from the phone, the dull monotonous apology that speaks for Mister LaRusso, Robby pipes up himself with the plan to say more, maybe even the sliver of an urge to take the phone from him. It's only the shake of the head and look that Robby receives that stops him, both physically and verbally.
He bites down on his bottom lip with a frown, his own pathetic look shot right back at Mister LaRusso, even if the older man looks away to continue to text away onto his phone.
And nothing about it changes Robby's mind, the words he wanted to say to cut him off with. The expression he gives Mister LaRusso, a plea to understand. ]
I don't care about that anymore. I'm just...tired of the whole thing. Being angry at you and my dad, hating Miguel and Sam, it never got me anywhere. You were there for me more than anyone's been there in my life. But I...
[ How can he explain it? When there are some wounds there, sure, the kind he would like to leave buried, the type of hurt that has yet to be completely pushed aside. What about their talk in the rehab garden hurt, what he felt replayed when Sam came and found him in the skatepark. It's a hurt that breathes in slowly, a balloon inflating within his ribcage, pushing against it and his insides uncomfortably.
But where does he take it? A feeling so irrational, so exhausting--what good is there in unpacking it, when assigning blame just left him as miserable as he was after the tournament? When hearing it now, not exactly with Mister LaRusso's voice, but a stand-in good enough only makes his limbs tired? His heart ache.
His head hangs in the moment he unravels it, tries to find the words to say what he's already said. Looking up again at Mister LaRusso, the request still in his features, the slant of his brows. ]
I missed you, [ he settles on, softly. ] And I made choices that you can't take the blame for. And I would've been fine if you didn't want to forgive me for them, but I want to let go of what I've been carrying for this past year.
[ He pauses, lips pressing together tight. ]
I don't it anymore. It just hurts.
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Even though it's hard. It was hard enough when Robby's gaze was hostile, when he shoved a wall between them that Daniel just couldn't climb over. This is hard too, but in a different way, a way that makes Daniel's chest ache. Robby is far too young to already have to speak like this, talk about being tired, about it hurting.
But this is about what Robby wants. So after the other is done talking, Daniel nods - after a tiny pause, and slowly, but he nods. If Robby wants to let it go, then.. Daniel will try to do the same thing, even though what Terry Silver has done to him makes it feel harder to let go of anything, makes it feel like everything is forever trapped right inside of his ribcage, stuck there alongside his heart.
But if this is what Robby wants, then he will try. Then he will nod.
The nod is followed up with Daniel patting the spot on the bed besides him, like he's asking Robby to sit back down again, if not for a moment.
And when the boy does, Daniel looks down at the photo again, moving it a little so it's more between him and Robby, in a spot where they can both see it. Even if Daniel is quiet for another moment, unsure of where to start, how to address Robby's feelings on top of it - something about the picture compels him to speak about it-- picking up Robby's phone again to talk. ]
I thought of you a lot. [ Like he said, he missed Robby. Like Robby just said-- he missed Daniel too. ] I had this photo ready, but then everything happened, and it didn't feel like I had the right to put it up anymore. I still looked at it from time to time.
[ Until it hurt too much. But that's not what Daniel wants to say here after what Robby he said, not what he wants to touch on for the boy. ]
I packed it up, hoping that I would be able to put it up one day. Or give it to you.
[ Hence the state Robby had found the object in in the first place. ]
Because this day was so important to me. [ He stops typing for a moment, instead tapping at the glass of the frame with one hand, staring at the two smiling faces for a moment. It makes something soften in his gaze. ] I was carrying so much before that moment too. Before we went to mister Miyagi's house and turned it into the dojo, I hadn't been there in years. I know I said back then that I hadn't had the chance to go back there, but it was more just that I couldn't go there. Facing it all after mister Miyagi's death felt too hard. Even just thinking about it hurt, so I acted like I left it all behind me. I stopped teaching Sam karate. I didn't go to mister Miyagi's place anymore, not even to see the cars. I completely banned something that had been such a big part of me out of my life.
[ Daniel stops typing for a moment. He wonders if it'd be easier to just have said all of this if he could've-- but he figures that would've been just as hard as hearing those words being read out loud to him and Robby. Maybe just in different ways.
He swallows, continues, pushed on by the urge that's lingered ever since first laying eyes on the photo, since laying eyes on Robby. Wanting to make sure the boy knows-- ]
What changed all of that was you, Robby. Actually doing karate again, going back to mister Miyagi's place, cleaning up the place the way I had done with him all those years ago..
I could only leave all the grief and pain behind and face all of it because of you. Because I knew that there was someone who needed me.
[ -- that he knows how important he is. In general, but-- also to Daniel.
He types one more sentence, glancing sideways at Robby when it's read out. ]
And that I needed that someone as well.
[ The way one boy can walk into your life and suddenly give it back all of its colour.
Had it been like that for mister Miyagi too? ]
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He fought to do anything to ride it, use it so that he'd be free of it. Played Kreese and Silver's games just for a chance to feel anything else, even if it was spite and bitterness.
Robby sits, because he doesn't want to fight anymore.
There's something uncomfortable about the photo, that hasn't lessened since he uncovered it from its wrapping. The faces and mood that have been lost to the time they came from, a kind of innocence that can't be stepped back into. Because Robby remembers that guy next to Mister LaRusso--that student next to his sensei. Wide-eyed, trusting, wanting nothing more than to be someone worth anything, willing to take a few hits to the heart sometimes.
A tiny part of him wouldn't mind being him again, though Robby knows he never can be, doesn't wish it completely. Not when he knows the hurt that follows, and hiding in the past won't bring him any relief.
Maybe this is just what most people feel when they look upon a time and place that held any meaning in their lives, but Robby doesn't get to indulge in it long as Mister LaRusso starts to 'speak'; or as his phone does, and Robby listens to it with a bowed head. Not looking at the photo, but neither at Mister LaRusso, when its not his voice the one verbalising his message. As if doing this will let him concentrate and listen to the words better--and they're worth it, the story that they share. His hands hold loosely together where they sit on his lap, but Robby starts rubbing them some as the message goes on. Not continuously, but idly, playing with his fingers as he tries to imagine a Mister LaRusso that's, truthfully, difficult to see.
Because there's still traces of the man he became to Robby during his hurt, and then there's the parts of him that Mister LaRusso makes him remember, and see. And then Robby knows that he has to connect them both, because neither are wrong: the man with a temper that can be sharp, but a man who kept reaching out, over and over. The man who became his sensei, gave him a home and purpose. The man who could kick him out with a snap of his fingers, the man who let him in so close to his life.
A man he learned to fear for that power he had over him, because he took one too many of those beatings to his chest.
Robby looks at Mister LaRusso once the messages finish. A glance at first, his mind still digesting over the emotion, both of the message and within himself. But he does bring his eyes to rest on the man, his expression tender, his lips pressed together. Slow to speak. ]
...We both messed up, [ he decides--not over meeting each other, not because of what's been shared, but everything after. ] Sometimes, things escalate so much that you don't know how things turned out the way they did. One moment you're doing karate in the back of a garden, and then the next--it's gone. I couldn't see it anymore, that life I had...
[ Because he felt used. He felt disposable.
His hands tighten, his fingernails pressing into his skin. A sharper pain present around the rims of his eyes.
His voice lowers. ]
It didn't exist anymore. And it was hard, unpacking what I did; everything I bottled up, didn't want to deal with. What I did to Miguel... it was easier to bury it. I thought I'd always be a bad guy anyway. Because I got too mad at the wrong time...
[ The wrong kick.
He raises an arm to wipe near an eye with the back of his shirt, sniffs, and takes in a breath to settle his nerves. Presses his hands back together, curling them into one fist. ]
We lost something good, [ is all he can think to say. Without blame, without dwelling into why. Because there's too many reasons why; because it doesn't help with what's already done and gone, won't ever bring back the past.
But maybe, being able to acknowledge the pain and grieve for it is enough--and to do it with someone willing to share their grief with you can mean all the more. ]
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Or maybe it's the deep and sad feeling that's been soaking into his limbs for a while now that's making this feel even heavier. After all - what does Daniel have right now? Even without taking being dragged into this city into consideration, he's lost everything. The dojo is closed. Amanda's about to divorce him and take the kids. He got his ass handed to him by his worst nightmare, by the person who's haunted Daniel's every nightmare over the past decades.
It makes it so tempting to just give up. We lost something good, Robby says, and it applies to basically everything in Daniel's life right now. Why try anymore? Trying only makes him screw up more, dragging other people and their feelings and hurt along into the messiness.
But this is the thing, isn't it? Daniel stares sideways at Robby, at the way the boy seems on the verge of tears, and Daniel can't give up. Yes, he's terrified of hurting Robby again, but maybe the worst kind of hurt he could give the boy would be to give up on him entirely. ]
We did. [ He acknowledges, letting his phone read it out, and then pauses to instead let his hand land on Robby's leg, giving his knee a tiny squeeze. It rests there a moment, Daniel still looking at Robby, regardless of whether or not the boy does look back at him. (If Robby looks, he'll see a similar feeling reflected in Daniel's eyes. Pain, mostly, but definitely more than a little bit of guilt on his end too. Because I got too mad at the wrong time, Robby says, and yeah, Daniel sure knows about that, since shattering Robby's heart feels like a terrible thing on the level of shattering someone's back.)
It's only after that pause he pulls his hand back to use it to type again. ]
But that doesn't mean there is nothing left. Even if things might not be the same, there is always the chance for something new.
[ The bonsai he broke, the guilt he felt over it, the descending spiral of realising that he broke it and that it was never going to be the same again-- until mister Miyagi showed it healing to him. Strong root, just like you, Daniel-san.
Daniel hopes right now, more than ever, that mister Miyagi was right about him. It never really felt that way.
He sucks in a deep breath. ]
I still want to be there for you. If you would let me. [ The choice is Robby's, after all. Sure - he missed Daniel, which is already more of a sentiment than Daniel thought he'd ever get, let alone deserve, but it's not like Robby doesn't have the full right to walk away if he'd want to. After all Daniel put him through-- after Robby only finding him again like this. Drunk. A mess. ] I want to make sure you are safe in this place.
[ There's some irony when a clearly injured man who was found drunk is the one saying that, yes, but it's not like he means it any less for it. ]
I want to spend time with you again.
[ .. he pauses, his lips pressing a little tighter together before adding: ]
I want to prove to you I can do better this time. [ Better by Robby. Isn't that what matters? ]
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He's never spoken much about it. Everything, and the cracks he's allowing to come through now. Later, he might wonder if it's because of the juvie papers in his pocket that kept him coming back to Miguel, the fight--but it was a fight that became about more than just two people, that was never just about them in the first place.
It's not a bad thing. It's not bad to admit to what he's done, and he feels they're in agreement when Mister LaRusso continues using his phone to get out his messages, which....Robby will start to pay better attention to, watching his hands as he types.
I want to spend time with you again. I want to prove to you I can do better this time.
Robby clasps his hands together, gives a tiny--but more fun--smile as he looks at Mister LaRusso. ]
As you saying you want to be my sensei again? [ ...it doesn't really seem like that, except towards the end, which is why his mind goes that. Back to what their relationship was, even though Mister LaRusso was a quasi-guardian to him in that time he lived with him and the rest of the LaRussos.
But maybe it gives him a good reason to say what he isn't sure he'd get a chance to back in the Valley (at least, not any time soon): ] 'Cause I would say yes.
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.. and then failed spectacularly. Again, and again, and again.
He looks over at Robby while the other speaks, and keeps looking even after that, even as all those thoughts go through his mind. He has to look at the main product of Daniel's personal failures as a sensei, he has to acknowledge it.
Which also means acknowledging Robby's own feelings, right? What Robby wants. Even if there's a large part of Daniel that feels like he isn't qualified for this, a part that's only grown larger and larger with the Silver situation spiralling wildly out of hand-- it's Robby's decision, more than anyone else's.
(And it's not like Daniel doesn't want it, right? Sure, he doesn't feel like he deserves it, but that's another level entirely. If he's honest with himself, he knows he's selfish enough to want to strengthen his bond with Robby all over again, given the choice.)
So after a few moments of quiet staring, Daniel's lips finally curl up into a smile. It's faint, but.. it doesn't seem to be fake. Even as small as it is, it's real, and there's something touched in the man's gaze.
He doesn't use Robby's phone to reply this time. He just rests the device in his lap, using his hands not to text but to reach out. Not to Robby's knee this time, but instead a hand on his back, resting between his shoulderblades, warm and steady despite Daniel's rather haggard appearance.
And Daniel nods. ]
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A different kind of sensei than Kreese or Silver had ever become, only concerned with technique and winning. So when Robby sees the smile, the warmth that seems to enter his gaze, Robby bumps their arms together, or what he can from where they both sit. After that nod, the hand that's on his back; a friendly, easy gesture given in return. Something that hasn't been there between them in so long.
It has Robby still smiling after, pinched onto his lips. They still have their current circumstances to deal with, but maybe for a moment, it's easy to forget about, to put side and not have be the main focus. A reprieve even from the severity of what they're going through, and Robby enjoys it, sense be damned.
It's just nice, to have Mister LaRusso accept him again--after everything. And though he won't say it himself, he plans to look after the older man too. But you know, he can't be as mushy about it as him.
Instead--though without any rush to leave this nice position of sitting next to Mister LaRusso and all--Robby turns to him, cocking his head. ]
You want me to get that water and everything now?
[ You know. That thing he was meant to be doing. ]
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That thing that was supposed to happen.
Granted, Robby did mention something about the door not wanting to open - but maybe it was just stuck? Maybe Daniel could try to get it open this time. Not like he isn't used to doing some DIY, after all. Opening stuck doors is basically the same thing. And he knows that even though meeting Robby again and establishing this new trust between them has done wonders for his heart already, there's only so much it can do for Daniel's current hangover. He really should get something to drink, and some pills.
.. and he should probably lie back down, too. It'd be the smartest option. But even though Daniel rationally knows it's not like Robby will disappear from this world if he leaves this room, there's something about being allowed by the boy's side again that Daniel is reluctant to part with again so quickly.
So after nodding again, he actually moves to stand up again. It's a little wobbly at first once more, but then he seems to grow a bit more steady on his legs.
(Hey-- balance is his thing, okay?)
He doesn't even have to write that he's coming along onto the phone. His body language and actions betray it all already, and when Daniel slowly moves over to the door, it actually opens easily with just some minor pressure on the doorknob. Huh, Robby, seems like it wasn't such a problem after all..!
Not that Daniel comments on it. There's way more important things to be said, things he skipped over because he was too taken by the surprise of Robby to really think about anything else. So he turns to look at the boy, perhaps having to lean against the wall with his shoulder a little to steady himself, still kind of dizzy and nauseous.
Not too dizzy and nauseous to type, though. ]
How have you been here?
[ Another thing that's important to know, even if he couldn't get to it until now. ]
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Because look who's coming with him when he stands up? And look at the face Robby makes when he sees you getting up, Daniel. Because that's a face of a boy who isn't very pleased to see their drunken companion getting out of bed, considering the empty bottle he had been accompanied by at the grave. Call it being a learned form of worry warting over drunken adults, but he figures he won't complain right away.
He'll let him get up to have a drink with his painkillers, have a bite to eat, and Robby can shove him back to bed if he needs to.
First things first: the door.
...which is an entirely undramatic affair when the handle is tried, and--what the fuck, it dares to open? What the fuck. And yes, Robby is internally pissed about that, because do you know how long he was sitting around inside that room because it wouldn't open?
--whatever. Whatever, we're not getting stuck on the door.
He's going to suck on the inside of the cheek and have Thoughts about it instead, curse it a little more, seeing as he can't move with Mister LaRusso stopping and typing. That would be rude. ]
You should've stayed in bed.
[ ...that callout isn't rude, though. It's just The Truth. But alright, alright: ] I'm fine. [ ...well. ] As fine as anyone here can be.
[ Which can only lead Robby to that question that was bugging him before, a small frown coming onto his face. He nods at Mister LaRusso. ]
Did someone here do that to you?
[ Your face. He's talking about your face. ]
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He can always do that later. He just-- He wants to spend a few more moments with Robby first. It feels too important to immediately go sleep again, no matter how much his head is pounding right now. It's hopefully nothing some hydratation and pills won't fix.
(A-And maybe a nap, but-- later, okay? Let a sensei have a moment with the boy he missed so much.)
Even if said boy is asking him one of the hardest possible questions. Daniel has had to open up a touch about what happened to the doctors here, since they needed to know what was wrong with him, but he's been so careful to keep any details about what happened hidden, not wanting to think or talk about them.
But he doesn't want to let Robby hanging either.
It makes Daniel suck in a deep breath, pushing his shoulder off the wall to instead support himself with one hand leaning against it, so he can start to move a little. Thankfully all the apartments are similar enough that he's got a good idea of where the kitchen is.
He is answering Robby though. Not verbally - or, you know, through the phone - but instead with a shake of his head.
He can't directly look at the boy as he shakes his head either. ]
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Granted, Robby doesn't exactly know what the answer tells, once it's given; a shake of the head that only comes once Mister LaRusso's walked through the door and made his way towards a kitchen (a pair of cups on the sink side turned over and washed out, a loaf of bread pushed by the wall, a very ordinary picture of a kitchen).
Shame, maybe. That's what Robby comes to, when he's met with a silence and nothing else, not even Mister LaRusso looking back at him.
He doesn't know what to immediately do with that, but with the man in the kitchen space and probably looking for that drink-- ] You get some water, I'll go get the painkillers.
[ Robby doesn't have time to exactly fold over this information, which is fairly apparent once he does. It was there, obviously: that if Mister LaRusso wasn't attacked in the city, then he was attacked back home. By who? Not a friend--Mister LaRusso would have waved a hand and been easier about saying no, right? Unless Robby's misinterpreted his current mood into something it's not.
He grabs the painkillers from the cupboard, opening up the packet while making his way back into the kitchen. Daniel's likely gotten his drink of water by now, right? And though it's not necessary, Robby's popped a couple-- no, three pills for the man.
You can't avoid looking at Robby if you want them, Daniel. A face that looks curious, but hesitant to ask the obvious follow-up.
What's been going on with you? ]
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Let alone a teenager that's invested in your wellbeing.
(A concept that may not have entirely been processed by Daniel's brain just yet, even though Robby took all the trouble of dragging him back to the apartment after finding him out there drunk in the first place.)
So Daniel stands there, glass of water in hand, moving to take the pills from Robby..
.. and then coming across that expression.
It says something about the boy's power over Daniel that it makes the man freeze up for a moment, just staring at those eyes. They've done so much to him in the past already. Given him hope during the early days of the dojo, shot bullets through his heart after Robby joined Cobra Kai - and now they still have that same power, rendering Daniel fully unable to shrug off the question in those eyes, even if he'd want to.
He ducks his head, popping the pills into his mouth one by one before washing them down with water. Swallowing them, chasing it with another mouthful of water, breathing in and out.
Daniel puts the glass back onto the counter, then takes a step back so he can lean his body against said counter as well, still unsteady on his feet. But he does take the phone back out of the pocket he dropped it into, answering rather than avoiding. ]
I tried to stop Cobra Kai.
[ He ponders leaving it at that. It's not like it isn't the full answer when it comes down to it, like the implications in that statement don't do a whole lot of work for him.
Daniel looks back at Robby, Daniel's own gaze slightly faltering, and decides he has to go on, at least a little bit. ]
I shut down the dojo so I could work on that with a friend I invited over from Okinawa. We wanted to stop Cobra Kai's expansion by exposing Silver for who he really is.
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Because trying to stop Cobra Kai can mean a lot of things, a direct confrontation--with Silver, Robby suspects. He almost asks, but he sees fingers moving and decides to wait.
Instead, he looks slightly confused, but more concerned, even when his assumption appears to have been in the right direction. ]
So...what did you do? Confront him directly?
[ Get his face smashed in for it? ]
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The answer to the question is a rather small shake of Daniel's head. Then some hesitation - (how much should he share with Robby, how much does he even want to say here?), then more typing. ]
Silver caught on to what I was doing. He cornered me and took me by surprise when I was alone. I tried fighting back, but he was too strong.
[ It's leaving out a lot. Mostly the emotional component of it all, the fact that Silver had already pretty much broken his spirit before the fight even happened.
But that feels like too much to share. He doesn't want the heavy burden on his own shoulders to become Robby's - especially not if they're going to be stuck here in this city. He wants to protect the boy from the nastiness of everything back home, even this far away from it.
So Daniel doesn't write more than that. Instead his gaze moves up, looking over at the boy, giving him a little apologetic gaze - even though it's hard to tell what the apology is for. Maybe for being in this state in the first place, when Daniel definitely wants to present other, better sides of himself to a boy who means so much to him.
Especially right after reuniting again after so long. ]
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(He can be a good liar to himself.)
His mouth tugs as he stands with the information, not sure what exactly he feels, other than...bad. What is there to say? Does he ask what exactly Mister LaRusso and his friend was doing? When the details don't seem....particularly important, other than the goal. Going up against a man like Silver.
Mister LaRusso was wealthy, but Silver was millionaire wealthy. ]
...My dad took the bet seriously. I figured you did too.
[ There's no judgment in that remark; only, an acknowledgement that Robby knows who's been missing in this takedown of Cobra Kai, when Mister LaRusso and his dad seemed to have been working together against them. His dad never talked deeply his feelings, and Robby doesn't know what he really thought about it--he just seemed to want to put it all behind him, focus on their relationship, and his life with Miss Diaz (...and Miguel).
He's quiet, but then asks, ] Did you and him talk about it?
[ Going up against Cobra Kai together? ]
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.. especially with what Johnny said. With Johnny's own feelings on the matter.
Daniel's gaze dips in a way that - at least partially - already answers the question before he actually tries to answer it. He stares at the kitchen floor for a moment, but then at the phone when he starts typing again. ]
Your father told me it was none of his business anymore after he got you out of Cobra Kai. He said we should leave it alone.
[ Looking back on the conversation isn't great for a myriad of reasons - certainly not least of which is Daniel feeling kind of ashamed of his own behaviour back there.
But something about the way Johnny seemed so uncaring about the influence it was still having on other kids still doesn't seem right with him, even when he disregards the stuff the other probably just said because Daniel came across like a raving lunatic. He might not always give the man leeway for his general Johnny-ness, but Daniel does realise he had a big hand himself in how that conversation went.
.. and look where it got him. Getting his ass kicked all by himself, then disappeared off to another city. Daniel wonders if anyone would've even found him there, were he not here instead now. ]
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What more could they actually do about Cobra Kai? How do you stop a business from running, that provided nothing but wins in tournaments? ]
Everything just...it felt like a lot back then. The tournaments, the drama in-between; I don't know how it was for you two, [ when they were working together, or even in the time he was in juvie, ] but with me and everything going on with the Diazs, nothing ever feeling like it was getting better...
[ But Robby can't finish that. How can he, when he's saying all this to Mister LaRusso--who continued to try and fight, got his ass kicked for it? Trying to explain his dad, a man he's still learning, trying to know-- ]
It was easier to quit. [ --but in reality, only explaining himself as he looks at Mister LaRusso with a complicated, unhappy expression. ] It was hard to see a way forward.
[ ...and yet, it doesn't feel right to even leave it at, true as the words are. Because there's been time since he left, time since the exhaustion of dealing with Tory and Kenny has become worrisome again. He couldn't get them out by himself, no, not just by his words. ]
...but the students there need a way out, too. Silver was just as bad as Kreese--he didn't care how you won. And they, uh--they really changed for the worse. [ He tips his head aside. ] And me.
[ He's acknowledged as much already, but maybe it bears repeating, just the way that dojo can screw with you. So maybe, even if it's hard, even if it seems impossible--taking it out is always a cause worth fighting. Not giving up for.
Robby lifts his gaze, briefly lowered, back over to Mister LaRusso. ]
Did you find out anything? About Silver?
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It makes it so easy to fall back into negative thoughts at everything Robby says. First the talk about Johnny - and maybe Johnny was the one in the right, maybe Daniel was crazy for continuing to fight, forever the one between the two of them who didn't know how to back then when he should, you couldn't leave well enough alone, you little twerp?
But he couldn't leave Cobra Kai alone. Not with what has been haunting his mind, the thoughts Robby voices here too. Cobra Kai is so bad. It's terrible for kids. If Daniel doesn't stop it, then more kids will keep getting hurt - just like Daniel was, all those years ago. (He knows how bad Silver is, doesn't need Robby to tell him, though he's keenly aware Robby has no idea just how well Daniel knew decades before getting beaten up by the man.)
And he lost. He didn't get anything done. He got people hurt, got Mike's store burned down, got his own ass kicked, then disappeared off to this place.
It looks like Daniel is wilting on the spot, only the fact that he doesn't want Robby to have to worry about him even further keeping him from just staying quiet altogether. The nausea still present in his stomach and the droning pain in his head sure doesn't help either. ]
He is the one who committed the crime Kreese was sent to jail for. He most likely set him up.
[ Maybe it's why his answer is relatively brief, despite everything Robby says. Daniel doesn't know how to address any of the rest of it that doesn't involve feeling like he failed in every single regard of his plan.
Especially in front of Robby. Robby, who got helped by Johnny, while Daniel was doing nothing but failing at the one thing he set out to do. ]
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Tory was more stubborn than he was, and Kenny--he didn't even know who he was, now.
Mister LaRusso's message at least spares Robby from suffering too far in that mentality, though--because it hits him, wide-eyed and staring at Mister LaRusso, like he'd said the words himself. ]
Silver did? How-- why? I thought they... [ Does it even matter what Robby thought? He doesn't bother to finish, taking in a breath, but still trying to even wrap his head around it. Why is everything so insane? ]
How did you find that out?
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There's already enough negative feelings trying to nest within him though, so it's a little easier to let go of that one for the moment. ]
I got something in the mail. A newspaper article about the incident. Someone wrote that the guy who got beaten up had lied. I don't know who sent it.
[ He did contemplate it being a trap by Silver, but-- the information had been right. And if he thinks back on his confrontation with Silver - not something he likes to do, but something that's burned into his brain all the same - then it's not like the guy seemed particularly happy that Daniel found out, or that he was trying to get Raymond to testify against Silver. ]
It's how Silver cornered me. I first went to talk to the guy with someone else, but then later returned on my own, and then Silver was waiting for me there instead of him.
[ Sorry, Robby.
Things were wild while you were getting distracted by your dad's antics. ]
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(He had done his best to ignore the parts of Cobra Kai he didn't like, after all. Isn't Cobra Kai just about winning, and surviving?)
But none of this is right--Mister LaRusso shouldn't have been by himself. Robby knows that things can't be made different, you can't change what's happened, but knowing what they've left back home and the mess that needs to be picked up--it's a frustration in his throat he can't swallow down. He could talk to his dad. He could talk to Tory again, Kenny--
Instead, they're stuck here. And Mister LaRusso... the state of him sticks with Robby when he looks at the man (and he's looking nowhere else). There's a mess they've left behind, and what was Mister LaRusso drinking about? Being away from his family? Silver being closer to them than he is?
He stands there, with so little to give. ]
--He's not getting away with it. With you gone, and me disappearing too? That's gonna cause problems for him and put our families on alert if he's the last person that saw you. I know it's not good to think about, [ worrying too deeply about what their families are going through, what they might be doing, ] but that's not going to be it for Silver... and right now...
[ He's stepping over, closer to Mister LaRusso; bringing them a step away from one another, just to allow them still their own space. Chin tilted up at him, meeting his eye. ]
...you should take it easy. You can sleep some more--unless you want some food first. But you can use my room instead of going back to your apartment. Plus...
[ ... ] You're not alone now.
[ Robby adds it weakly--at least, weak in the attempted positive note, a smile tugging on his lips. He doesn't know if being alone was a problem for the man, or what truly had him close to catatonic out by the graves, and he doesn't particularly want to ask either, but--
but maybe it can mean something small. Some kind of comfort, instead of landing nowhere at all. ]
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Robby is right in his earlier assessment - that it's not good to think about those other things. Daniel has been desperately trying to avoid thinking of what happened back home and its consequences, even if his anxiety- and depression-riddled mind didn't give him an easy time with trying to ignore those things. But he doesn't want to think about what Silver could be doing now, whether he'd try to follow up on his threat despite the circumstances. He doesn't want to think about how worried Amanda might be, or the kids. Despite the fight they had, surely Amanda would-- She'd still notice, eventually, she'd still care..
And he's hurt her enough.
So Daniel still doesn't want to think about that, even now. It makes him feel a little childish, especially when Robby - so much younger than him - is willing to address it, willing to reassure him, even though that should be the other way around here.
But thankfully the boy gives him something better to think about. Something positive in the middle of all the things that threaten to make Daniel stand on the cliff side of losing his mind, between his worried about everything back home and his worries about this place.
And that positive thing is Robby's presence. His sweet care, the way he words things.
Even if so much changed, it's like nothing has changed at all.
Daniel did look particularly miserable, discussing all of this, but it's when Robby speaks those last words and stands closer to him and smiles at him that the misery fades a little from the man's features. Not fully gone, especially not in the middle of a half-drunk-half-hangover state, but..
He smiles.
It means something.
Daniel doesn't address it using his phone, but it's like his gaze and that small smile say just as much as words could. He isn't alone, indeed. He's glad he isn't alone, even if that gladness might be selfish, even if Robby shouldn't be here.
Instead, when he types on his phone, it's just for it to read out: ]
I should eat something first. But then I will sleep.
[ Like Robby was fussing about at him a few moments ago-- ]
I don't want to make you worry too much about me here. [ Even if Daniel is giving the poor boy way too many reasons to do so. ]
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A way out would be good. A way back home would be really, really good.
The smile he gives back to Mister LaRusso is brighter, comes after his last message; after he's leaned off from the fridge, his hand now on its handle. ]
I'm worrying enough, [ he semi-chides, asserts, whichever way the man wants to take it. Looks at the fridge briefly. ] You want toast, a sandwich? There's meats in here. [ He tugs on the handle. ] You can pick what you want. I'll grab bread.
[ Which will mean them switching around, but hey, it'll be easier for Mister LaRusso to choose his sandwich (or toast) additions than for Robby to list out what they have. And Mister Larusso will probably feel better than if Robby babied every part of making food for him. ]